I had a list narrowed down to three words.
Peace had been in my head because of advent and because it felt similar to hope. It's a good word, but it didn't feel like my word.
Grace jumped out at me on a page of a book I was reading the last couple of days. And then it jumped into my head yesterday and today in the kitchen when I felt that I needed to extend myself some grace. But taking on grace to focus on this year is not what I really want to do. Grace is hard.
Write is the word I wanted because my goal is to write more. Or to write well. I want to become a writer - whatever that really means. However, the word write felt more like a resolution instead of a focus.
Once again, deep in my heart I know what is supposed be my word.
I know theologically and intellectually what grace is, but the challenge of focusing on it this year feels exhausting already. Yet I also know I really don't understand grace. I extend it, but not as well or as often as I should. One of my fears is that by picking this word is that when I blow it, someone will say, "I thought your word was grace!?" But there will be grace for those moments, I am sure.
This word, grace, intimidates me more than I would like to admit, but it is starting to inspire me, too. So here's to the next twelve months of focusing on, wrestling with, extending more, and being amazed by grace.