Monday, November 23, 2015

counting gifts (because God has repaid)

My heart has felt heavy the last few days, for a situation out of my hands, a situation that isn't really my story to tell. It is intertwined a bit with my story, my struggles, but it is not directly mine this time. I sit on the sidelines unable to do anything but weep. Weep like a twelve year old, weep like a nineteen year old, weep like a thirty-one year old, and weep as my present-age-self.

I was flipping through a book I just finished, trying to find a certain paragraph, when I came across a different truth I had underlined.  Jennifer Rothschild, in her study on Hosea, wrote, "...you may have endured something so awful in your past that you can't even imagine God redeeming it and restoring shalam to you. But His promise is true. What the enemy stole, God will shalam. What selfish people have taken from you, God will repay." 

Today, my mind kept going to what was taken. But I don't want to live in that because I have already been given so much more than what I lost. Thanksgiving is this week, and my autumn has been filled overflowing with good things, wonderful things, which outweigh the hardness of this life.

  • Friendships spanning days and decades.
  • Progress in Bug's speech and gross motor skills.



  • A trip home to meet my new niece.
  • Bubby being baptized.



  • Happy brothers in Halloween costumes.



  • Trips to the park with friends.
  • Early birthday party with Cubbie friends and Pete the Cat.



  • Phone call with my best friend.
  • Library books galore.
  • Listening to Anne of Green Gables in the car with my boys.
  • A short visit with a college friend who was passing through.
  • A fridge holding the turkey.
  • Friday night laughter with friends, trading clothes.
  • Teaching two year olds each week.
  • Homeschooling the (mostly) Charlotte Mason way.



  • Coffee for me and a muffin for Bubby every Monday morning.



  • Art class for Bugaboo.
  • Watching the basketball go through the net - what a difference a year makes!
  • Rolling out Papa's noodles.




God owes me nothing, and yet He has graciously given me so much, more than repaid what was stolen. Gift after gift, He lavishes good things upon me.



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