Saturday, August 16, 2014

back to school

I blinked, and it was over. The day I had been anticipating in some ways since we found out we were having a baby. The week I definitely had been planning for and thinking about since we decided that I would teach our oldest. The first week of kindergarten. I will never have another first week of kindergarten with Bubby again. It's a humbling truth.

In the same way, my youngest's first morning at preschool went by in a flash, too. I had been fearing it, dreading it since we decided our first choice of preschool may not benefit him the most. We signed the papers for the school that made sense to our heads but hurt our hearts. I dropped him off, picked him up, and read the first note that said, "He had a great day!" My heart was glad for him but also a little sad for me.

We are told all of the time how quickly life flies by, and it seems to have sped up now that I'm a mother. (Except those nights of babyhood or those times still when someone is up for hours from midnight to 4 AM. Time does not speed by then.) I want to encourage my children to be more independent, to discover new things, to grow and to learn. But at the same time I want to hold them at this age forever, where I can still mostly protect them from things and have them close to me.  It is a strange thing, motherhood and time.

My own back-to-school days both as student and teacher don't really seem that far away. The ABC circles in my kindergarten room, being chosen first for math board races in first grade, the teacher with the stegosaurus puppet named Stego, the teacher who threw the Wordly Wise book... saying good-bye to my mom and Mimi and Papa in Walther Halll. The first time I stood beside a classroom door with my name written at the top: "Miller 109." I was told about a three dozen times that year, in English and in Spanish, "You look too young to be a teacher."
Me - first day of kindergarten

Back to school makes me feel all sorts of emotions, and this year is no exception.

(What did you DO all week? Find a lengthy recap here.)

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