Monday, February 3, 2014

the marriage letters - "once upon a time"

Joining with Amber at the RunAMuck for her marriage letters prompts again. I'm so glad she brought these back!

Dear M,

Nine years ago we decided not to wait until July 9, but instead to just go ahead and elope. I wore a red and black dress, and you wore what you wore, and there is not one single picture of the event - only the picture of the day before of us outside after church when we were hanging out at your mom's. We had no idea what we were getting into. How could we? We had spent most of our seven-ish month relationship purchasing phone cards to call each other from across a continent and an ocean. We had really only spent less than three weeks together in person. Crazy kids.

(rehearsal dinner picture - July 7, 2005)
But we took the plunge. Those first few months you applied to college and corrected my math papers and cleaned our apartment while I wrapped up my second year teaching fourth graders. We had Chili Pepper burritos at least once a week, and our dates included a walk in the Arizona heat around the new outdoor mall and then a stop into Barnes and Noble for a book and a frappuccino.  We fought, we floundered, and we forgave those first several months, trying to figure out how to live this life together.

Then we packed up our stuff, had our originally planned wedding, and drove thirty or so hours back to the Midwest, We felt so poor - you in school, and me spending an hour each way to go to a teaching job I hated that first year. I was depressed, but you persevered for both of us, and somehow we came out on the other side okay. Every piece of baggage I brought with me, you helped me unpack. And even when I feared you would leave or when I threatened to leave - because that is what I knew of marriage - you stayed.

Sometimes when I look back on the first couple of years, I just remember the freedom we had to go to the movies or dinners not worrying about feeding two other human beings. I remember our sweet Ebby dog riding in the car with us to visit my family in Illinois, her head sticking out every time you would roll down the window.  I remember thinking it was soooo hard to  have a husband in school ,but look at us now! Somehow we are surviving you in school and working and me at home with two children. Nine years ago the very thought of it would have sent me to bed with my covers pulled over my head.

We had no idea what we were doing over nine years ago. We knew that we loved each other, and we loved Jesus, and we had a plan for what life would look like. Naivety at its finest. But I'm so glad I didn't really have a clue. I'm so glad I got to marry you.

Love,
Amanda

4 comments:

  1. Dear Wife,

    Thank you for this letter. It means so much to me. I too look back on those first months of marriage as being both the best and the worst. The freedom was nice. The daily reminder that I had to think of someone other than myself, not so nice. But you were worth it. You still are. I love our family, my school, my work, our church, our plans, and our life. I would not trade it for the world and I would do it all again. I am daily reminded that I could not do half of what I do without you. I love you so much.

    Always Yours,
    Mike

    P.S. I still love you despite the fact that you got the date on the picture wrong. HA.

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    1. Ooops - yes - the day and the year! (The year I think was a typo. The day was me forgetting there was Disneyland day in between rehearsal and wedding.) Fixed it.

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  2. Love the letter AND his comment. Just beautiful. So glad we're friends.

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  3. I remember my husband telling me when we first got married - we didn't have hot water the first 3 months because of the $150 gas deposit, no phone, no t.v. - when the guys in the downstairs apartment went home for Christmas, we'd have to boil water to flush the toilet - and he said, "These are the best times" LOL - 30 years later - we're still have the best times - except with hot water! Thank you for sharing your story! Congratulations!

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