I don't write as much about the kids as I used to. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing or just a thing. It just feels hard to write about.
Bugaboo is making progress, such progress, but in the midst of it, everything feels slow and a bit unsettled. It is kind of like when you are a teenager waiting for the phone to ring, waiting for that person you really like to call you wondering, wondering, wondering if they will ever call you. That's how it feels sometimes.
After a hard day, week or month when I start to wonder about what is going on, I see this glimpse of something new, this little light of potential. But then nothing. I sit waiting for that phone to ring, but it doesn't. And then I wonder, did I give out the wrong number? Is the phone not working? This is what it is like waiting on Bugaboo these days.
Bug has lots of words. He knows his shapes and letters and colors, but he can't give you a sentence. Not a real, on his own impromptu sentence. He can repeat back some things, sometimes he'll pull out a meaningful phrase, but whether it has meaning to him or not the way it has meaning to us, we're still unsure. He'll give you a line from a song or a book - heck, after one reading of a new book last week he remembered a detail about it this week when I pulled it out of the basket last night, so surely there is still so much to unlock in his sweet little head.
When he gets mad or sad in recent weeks (or maybe months) he always says, "Watch a movie?" We're not sure why but he does it almost every time. If he doesn't say that, he will say, "Sad day." Sometimes he just tells us sad day randomly throughout the day. He lists people's names. He mentions his old PT, Lexi, and always right after her he says, "Elmo Brave. Library." because during his old PT session Bubby was often allowed to watch a movie - which one time happened to be an Elmo is Brave movie from the library.
We are still working on motor skills quite a bit, too. He is getting better at the stairs, though he obviously needs someone right there if he is using a railing, and sometimes he needs a hand, as well. Strengthening his core and getting him to use hands for things (like silverware) is a very, very slow process. We are working on the phrase, "I want _____." Another slow process, as 97% of the time we ask him to repeat it, he instead refuses and says, "_____ please."
Duplos have been a great toy for him. Each day he gets better at putting the pieces together to make towers of his own. That really has been the only thing he is interested in playing with overall, though sometimes he will use the pretend kitchen and food. If it was up to him, he would sit in a huge pile of picture books all day long, just looking through them, "reading" them, and then moving to his Legos every now and then.
He loves the places we go. He is very cooperative at the library story time, except last week when I wouldn't let him dump something out. He loves church, and he prays almost every night for his Puggles and Sunday school teachers and friends. Every Sunday afternoon he tells us to go to small group.
The other night he was awakened around midnight, so I ended up lying down next to him for a few minutes on his bed. I worry most nights that I haven't done enough or that there is nothing left for me to do - either of those things can keep me tossing and turning. But the other night I was just there next to him, listening to him breathe. He rolled over and snuggled closer, asleep finally. I could have gotten up, but I stayed a few moments more, not consumed by worry for a change, instead just so incredibly glad to be his mommy.