Tuesday, December 24, 2013

when I think I understand love (during advent)

There is so much I still don't understand about God. I don't understand all the rules or The Law or how it all works today. I don't understand The Trinity or a Virgin Birth or all of those omni-words. And I certainly don't understand mercy and grace.

But love.

Love to me is tangible and evident and the reason I think I understand just a little bit about God.

I have two little boys sitting on the sofa right now. They are completely engrossed in a Veggie Tales DVD. I look at them in their matching red and gray striped shirts, and I know without a doubt that nothing on earth would make me stop loving them. I remember how desperately I wanted to be a mommy, to have them here in existence with me.

Each night I watch them sleeping in their big boy beds, and I wonder how time has gone by so quickly. I hear them singing and praying and playing and laughing. My heart fills and feels like it cannot contain all the love that is inside of it.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son..."

The words are as familiar to me as my own name. But just as soon as I think I understand love, especially at Christmas, I remember what He gave, and I realize I really do not understand true love at all.

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