"Be God! Be God! Be God!"
Bugaboo's request came from the backseat today. Thankfully, in recent months I have been given the gift of interpretation, so I put in the Chris Tomlin cd. My not-quite-three year old's new favorite song is, How Great is our God also known as "Be God." The rain was pouring down as we drove to pick up Bubby from preschool. "Turn up! Turn up!" he added, and so I did.
I sang along, as I often do, but today I ended up singing loudly. Somewhere in the midst of it the Holy Spirit took over. I prayed for things I did not understand. It was not dynamic or earth shattering, but it was beautiful and powerful and perhaps profound. I prayed for requests I remembered from the day before. I prayed for babies just born and a baby on his way. I prayed for Bugaboo and the journey we are on.
The Lord dealt with me on a few things on my heart. He asked me, "If your son isn't healed the way you want him to be, will you still trust and glorify Me?" In that moment all I could picture in my mind was the scene of Abraham about to sacrifice Isaac, and yet I said in my heart, "I will. Help me."
Most days my prayer life mostly involves meals and bedtime devotionals, saying thank you for a list of things and tacking on a few requests at the end. I sit at the piano to try to sing and worship, but is distracting when four little hands are pounding away at different keys. I show up for church each week in a place where I am comfortable but also a bit uncomfortable as I wonder if I raise my hands too much if I will make others uncomfortable. And there are songs and styles and prayer meetings I miss from other seasons in my life.
But today my ride to preschool became a sanctuary. While my little boy enthusiastically yelled, "Be God!" from the backseat, God was exactly that. He was God. Right there with me in my ordinary moment. God with us. God with me. The Holy Spirit pouring out on Thursday morning, not limited by where I go to church, my lack of "quiet time," or my exhaustion. He met me in my minivan today. And He is beautiful.