Wednesday, May 8, 2013

what the last day of school showed me

Sometimes I think life is moving too slowly.

When I compare myself to Facebook status updates, blog entries, or advertisements on television I can start to believe I don't have enough. I don't have everything I want. I am missing out on some grand adventure. My dreams are not coming true the way I thought they would.

It doesn't happen as often as it used to, but in the quiet hours of the night, when The Hubs studies and the boys are finally asleep, I worry. I worry that everyone else is getting ahead, and that I am being left behind. I sometimes fear being stuck. here. forever. In my head I must think that God has limits on what He can do or how He can bless me. There are moments that I believe that if it is not happening right now then it will never happen.

And that is a lie.



This morning I spent the last day of (three year old) preschool with my firstborn. We did the parachute with gusto in the gym, and I marveled at how my child with such sensory issues could spend so much time in the sandbox at recess.  (This was the child who screamed as a baby/toddler when we put him in the grass.)  I listened to his teacher brag on how he knows all of the instruments, how he is a "fact guy," how smart and how kind he is. I sat on a plastic chair made for people two feet shorter than I am, and I wondered how my three-pound-preemie got to be such a remarkable almost-four-year-old so quickly?


So these lies that I hear when I think and compare and worry too much? I will not believe them because today I see truth. Life is moving fast enough, a little too fast sometimes. I see that even in my little north-side house, the house I sometimes feel so "stuck" in, I really do have everything I need and most of what I want, too.


joining with emily and imperfect prose

6 comments:

  1. Life is all about perspective isn't it? And sometimes fulfillment is right in front of our eyes. Really enjoyed your thoughts and outlook on life. Nice to visit through Imperfect Prose.

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  2. Thank you for sharing this! I feel like this too sometimes and your words are a wonderful reminder to trust God and rejoice in the now!

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  3. Yes, it is so true, and yet the lies can be so strong at night. Great reminders and cute pictures. :)

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  4. Sometimes I think we search for something grand, when God's will and purpose is in the humble. Shaping and molding those little lives, discipling them to love and serve Jesus, I think you're in the middle of the highest calling of all.

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  5. I could feel your heart in the struggle to sometimes feel our dreams aren't happening for us. But loved where you ended up...in rejoicing in the now because life many times moves to quickly. Especially with our kids. My boys are now grown and there are times I regret missing moments I should have enjoyed instead of worrying about what was ahead. I'm grateful that God has shown me to be present in the now with them. Blessings from Emily's.

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  6. This made me smile. I often get stuck in the comparison game. Ah, to just be still and smile and feel content.

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Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me.