When I compare myself to Facebook status updates, blog entries, or advertisements on television I can start to believe I don't have enough. I don't have everything I want. I am missing out on some grand adventure. My dreams are not coming true the way I thought they would.
It doesn't happen as often as it used to, but in the quiet hours of the night, when The Hubs studies and the boys are finally asleep, I worry. I worry that everyone else is getting ahead, and that I am being left behind. I sometimes fear being stuck. here. forever. In my head I must think that God has limits on what He can do or how He can bless me. There are moments that I believe that if it is not happening right now then it will never happen.
And that is a lie.
This morning I spent the last day of (three year old) preschool with my firstborn. We did the parachute with gusto in the gym, and I marveled at how my child with such sensory issues could spend so much time in the sandbox at recess. (This was the child who screamed as a baby/toddler when we put him in the grass.) I listened to his teacher brag on how he knows all of the instruments, how he is a "fact guy," how smart and how kind he is. I sat on a plastic chair made for people two feet shorter than I am, and I wondered how my three-pound-preemie got to be such a remarkable almost-four-year-old so quickly?
So these lies that I hear when I think and compare and worry too much? I will not believe them because today I see truth. Life is moving fast enough, a little too fast sometimes. I see that even in my little north-side house, the house I sometimes feel so "stuck" in, I really do have everything I need and most of what I want, too.
joining with emily and imperfect prose