Sunday, March 31, 2013

waffles and Easter

Expectations are my biggest stumbling block in life.  Well, that and expecting people to read my mind.  Often the two are tied closely together. In my mind I had an idea (an expectation) of what Easter should look like, and it actually was going pretty well until post-church-pre-lunch.  I had not made a decision on what to do - whether to eat out or to make food at home - and that did not make the ride home (or to eat) from church very pleasant. The heated conversation was probably twenty minutes. It could have been avoided if I just had communicated. Or had a plan. Or something.

It was not in a church service or an egg hunt that I experienced Easter this year.  It was on that car ride to get waffles where I felt my daily need for my Savior. It was also on the couch reading It's Pajama Time when I really wanted to be watching Call The Midwife. And it was in the getting a bathtub ready, in getting two boys cleaned up, in removing mud (not chocolate) out of the toddler's mouth, and in listening to that toddler cry uncontrollably from his crib.


I need Thee, O I need Thee
Every hour I need thee
O bless me now my Savior
I come to Thee



On this weekend that represents the ultimate sacrifice and the ultimate miracle, it was all I can do to ask for help with my selfishness. I am powerless on my own. My good mommy acts will never outweigh my poor attitude, my grumbling, my frustration with unmet expectations. Grace was not a warm-fuzzy feeling this Easter Sunday. Instead it was a strong reminder -  He meets me, changes me, empowers me.


3 comments:

  1. I do the same thing! It is so hard to let those expectations go!

    The boys look adorable by the way!

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    1. I wish I could just drop my expectations off somewhere and have them leave me alone. :)
      The boys were fun to dress up - we are usually jeans and t-shirts around here - and I know in just another year or two C won't be so happy to wear fun/cute things.

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  2. I am working on this one too...accepting what is happening instead of mourning what I thought it should look like. And even though I felt like my son was completely disengaged at church this week, when we sat down to eat our lunch, and Daddy prayed to our Savior, the boys asked to take turns too, and my special boy said, "Thank you God for Bad Piggies (his new game he played all through the Easter service). In Jesus name, Amen." And I said thank you God that you hear him too, that you love him even more than I do. The pictures look beautiful! Happy Easter!

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