I glanced at my last two posts so very different from each other, just days apart. How is that possible? How did I have such comfort and insight from God the other day, and then why did I write like I did a few hours ago?
Because it is life, and life is messy. And I want to be real about it.
It doesn't mean I lack faith. Or that I think everything about my life is terrible. Or that I am not grateful. It means some days are hard, and some days are wonderful, and most days fall somewhere in between.
So I won't just write about the good. I will try not to let the bad days get me down. But there are some days you just need to have a good cry and surrender. Sometimes surrender comes in the form of falling on my face before God. Sometimes it is having the courage to write a blog requesting something strong to drink. And sometimes it means confessing on Facebook, "One thing after another this week. Can't catch a break. So tired and overwhelmed I started crying during a VeggieTales song. This too shall pass."
Motherhood, or just life in general, isn't something to go at alone. It isn't something to fake through and say everything is fine. Sometimes you have to say I am tired and sad and overwhelmed today, and I know I will be okay tomorrow, but can you just help carry the load for a minute? My arms are tired.
And they do. Your friends pray and ask what they can do. They invite you to dinner. They offer to punch someone for you if they could do it without being arrested. They offer to bring you coffee or a mixed drink if only they lived within driving distance. These are the moments I remember why I am a person of faith. Jesus, of course, but also because of the love of the community that I find following Jesus.
For now I won't stop writing about the bad days I have. Writing it all reminds me I'm not alone in this. It shows me how much I have to be thankful for on good days and on bad ones.