Thursday, February 21, 2013

a letter to my boys about our church decision

Dear Boys,

We switched churches recently.  You have been such troopers visiting various nurseries and Sunday schools. C - I can't believe how well you have done. Where is that boy who cried every Wednesday night last summer when I tried to leave you in your class?  Preschool and time have been good for you, sweet boy.

C, you ask when we are going back to our old church and why we left. It is hard to explain to a three year old. I simply try to just tell you our new church is better for our family.  Even that sounds shallow and selfish, but our move has more to do about your best interests than ours.  Daddy and I could have toughed some things out, but it is not just about us.

We are a multi-denominational family, boys. Daddy grew up a mix of Baptist and Church of Christ. Mommy went to an A/G church, a Wesleyan church, an E.Free church, then an AG college and church, a Southern Baptist church, and then the last sevenish years back at an AG church.  There is a story behind all of this boys. I could write paragraphs explaining my memories, my disappointments, and my love of those churches listed. But not tonight.  What I want to tell you is that as you grow to know Jesus in the years ahead, I want you to know it is always about Jesus and not a building, a worship-style, or what makes you feel good.

I don't fit in a denomination, and that makes it hard when finding a church for a family. But it also makes it wonderful because even though we will put down roots at one place, we can hopefully teach you about the big-wide-family of God. We can teach you that some people raise their hands or speak in tongues or let women preach at their churches, even if our current church doesn't.   It doesn't make one church love Jesus more or less. I hope you will always know it is about Jesus and what He wants to do more than what any individual or group of people wants.

I wanted to sit and write to you tonight so that I will remember what I really wanted to tell you about why we decided on our new church - this Southern Baptist church with Reformed theology. (Perhaps one of the few SBC churches in our city that uses the ESV - a big deal for mommy.)  We picked it because we understand their theology and agree with it. Anything we don't agree with seems to be issues that we don't find major/find the Bible clearly in favor or against.  We picked it because the preaching/teaching is solid.  We picked it because of such a wonderful balance in its teachings on grace and accountability. We picked it because the people have been welcoming and helpful, and every time we have been, adults have remembered YOUR names.  This was huge to me, sweet boys, because the church we were coming from was a church where so many people loved you and prayed for you.

I hope as a family we grow to love this church even more. I pray we cultivate friendships, find a way to serve, that we think of it as a second-family.  But mostly I pray that no matter where we worship, how we worship, that you know it is all about Jesus and how much we love Him because He first loved us.



  1. I've often thought about writing a letter like this to my kids about why we have church-hopped for so long. I can relate to many of the feelings you express here. I don't belong to any one denomination - they all have at least one good point - but now we find ourselves at a methodist church when I've gone to charismatic and reformed churches most of my life. Praying that this one sticks and we find the community we are longing for!


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