In one of the Grumpy Old Men movies, there is a line that goes, "You can wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which gets filled first."
I find myself still holding out hope that somehow people in my life will change. Somehow they will see the truth. Somehow they will value me and my children. And honestly, I am beginning to think that hope is a bunch of crap.
There are generational sins. Sins that stem from lies and selfishness. I don't even know what generation started it. I only know that I have been affected, deeply affected. Others have been affected, even if they do not acknowledge it for reasons only they understand.
I just want to yell, "I'm tired of waiting for this curse to be over!" I am tired of people living in fear of some of my family members. Stand up! Stand up!
I am angry, but mostly I am sad and I am weary. If only people knew the whole story. I am willing to share it if they were willing to listen. But fear keeps them away.
So I wait for changes that may never happen. And I'm not quite sure how to handle that any more.
But I am ending the evening knowing that God sees me, and He waits with me. He can handle all of this. He can handle all of me.