Friday, September 14, 2012

a letter to my fifteen year old self

joining with Emily and others as we write to our high school selves.

Dear Me,

I see you there in your American Eagle jeans purchased with baby-sitting money. You are beautiful, little girl.  I know what you're doing as you read that - you're shrugging your shoulder and saying, "Eh. You have to say that because your my mom."  Well, I'm not your mom.  I'm you sixteen years in the future.
I know you worry about the way you look, the way you walk, the way the only time a boy talks to you is when he wants to copy your Spanish or geometry homework.  It's not an easy time in life to be the smart girl.  I know you wonder about your changing friendships, as everyone has found some sort of group. Band kids. Popular kids. The alterna-teens.  I know you are tired of thinking nobody notices and that teachers do not care.  Hang on, it's going to get better. Not high school specifically, but this time in your life.

This is the year you are going to meet Jesus.  For real. You are going to start going to a youth group with that girl in your English class.  You are looking for something - for a lot of things -and this is going to be the beginning of finding it.  He is going to change your life.  I know you are mad at God for some things, but there's a wonderful group of people at Homewood E.Free church just waiting to love and disciple you.  The rest of your high school years will still suck at school - you will eventually have enough and find an alternative.  But from the summer of 1996 on you are going to make some friends who know your issues but love you anyway.

You'll spend Monday nights with them playing Sardines and avoiding playing volleyball. You'll spend Sunday mornings on the back pew and then transition to a pew closer to the front.

I'd like to tell you to worry less about your looks and the boys who aren't calling, but I know you won't listen. I want to tell you to take Latin instead of choir, but it's a little late for that.  You are going to survive high school, my dear, and you are even going to make some wonderful memories along the way.  And that college you said you would never go to - yeah, you end up there and love it. But that's another letter that I've already sent you.

You are exactly who you are supposed to be, Amanda. And the people who are worth your time accept you for that and love you no matter what. Try not to worry about the rest.

Your thirty-one year old self

graceful for young women

(For a letter from my future-self to my present-self, go here.)


  1. A beautiful letter, Amanda! "I'd like to tell you to worry less about your looks and the boys who aren't calling, but I know you won't listen." How very true that we wouldn't listen!

  2. I'm sobbing! The year you meet Jesus -- takes my breath away! Thanks for sharing such a beautiful letter.

  3. Oh, Amanda, I'm SO THANKFUL you stopped by The Overflow so I could "find you". And I'm wiping tears like Alene now-- just marveling at the way Jesus captures our hearts. Reading this makes me want to encourage my kids to invite EVERYONE they know to youth group! From one "smart girl" to another- God is good. Blessed to meet you, new friend.

  4. Oh, how I wish I met Jesus at the age you did instead of in my 30s. Maybe if I had listened to those who TRIED to introduce him to me I would have. Thank you for sharing your letter. It made me smile reading it.

    Nannette, #119 from Chatting at the Sky


Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me.