"What I am trying to tell you is that no matter where you end up, where the road leads: You can have as much God as you want. As much joy in Him as you want. The real believers relentlessly believe that. The world or circumstances will try to dupe you differently– but it’s a law as irrefutable as gravity itself: no matter what — as much God as you want.
Is there anything else worth wanting or having?"
I realize how much I focus on circumstances, situations, and other things I often can't change. I focus on my struggles with some people who share my faith. I find it difficult when people will not have a conversation and confront the hard things in life. I find it frustrating when people avoid me instead of just saying what they need to say. These frustrations lead me to wanting to give up on Christian community, on people who share the same label as me. I find it hard to not want to wallow in self-pity or run away to a new community; I am tempted to ignore the need for accountability and just be a doormat or to just give up on this faith-community thing entirely. Optimism does not come easy to me. It's easier than in my past, but my high standards for people (self included) often set me up for frustrations and disappointment.
And I realize how much I focus on the negatives and the things I want to change, and how that blocks out what God may want to do in and through me. Every battle is not mine to fight. I will stand up for what I need to, and then I will get out of the way. I need to keep looking to Jesus and listening to His voice. He reminds me of all that He is doing, of all of the positives of His community whether that is through another blog post I read, through emails from older saints who offer insight and encouragement or through friends from the young adult group who share life with us, who pray for my kids and show me love even with all of my flaws.
Today I remember that there is a lot of good going on in the Kingdom of God. And I can have as much of God as I want and be a part of what He is doing.