Wednesday, July 11, 2012

the reminders of what it is really all about

I read Ann Voskamp's post today, and a lump forms in my throat as tears well in my eyes. I want to sit and converse  at a table with this woman.  She constantly reminds me of the hard truths in a beautiful, gentle way. I need a near-by woman or two to speak into me like this.


"What I am trying to tell you is that no matter where you end up, where the road leads: You can have as much God as you want. As much joy in Him as you want. The real believers relentlessly believe that. The world or circumstances will try to dupe you differently– but it’s a law as irrefutable as gravity itself: no matter what — as much God as you want.
Is there anything else worth wanting or having?"

I realize how much I focus on circumstances, situations, and other things I often can't change. I focus on my struggles with  some people who share my faith. I find it difficult when people will not have a conversation and confront the hard things in life. I find it frustrating when people avoid me instead of just saying what they need to say. These frustrations lead me to wanting to give up on Christian community, on people who share the same label as me. I find it hard to not want to wallow in self-pity or run away to a new community; I am tempted to ignore the need for accountability and just be a doormat or to just give up on this faith-community thing entirely. Optimism does not come easy to me. It's easier than in my past, but my high standards for people (self included) often set me up for frustrations and disappointment.

And I realize how much I focus on the negatives and the things I want to change, and how that blocks out what God may want to do in and through me. Every battle is not mine to fight. I will stand up for what I need to, and then I will get out of the way. I need to keep looking to Jesus and listening to His voice. He reminds me of all that He is doing, of all of the positives of His community whether that is through another blog post I read, through emails from older saints who offer insight and encouragement or through friends from the young adult group who share life with us, who pray for my kids and show me love even with all of my flaws.

Today I remember that there is a lot of good going on in the Kingdom of God. And I can have as much of God as I want and be a part of what He is doing.

3 comments:

  1. amen and amen.
    When you posted that quote on Facebook yesterday, I was tempted to just scan it and move on. A minute later I scrolled back up and read it again, slowly. Then again.
    That's powerful stuff, and it's true. No matter what, we can have joy because of Him--and as much as we want.
    Beautiful.

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  2. Yes! I have felt so similar to this even in the recent past. And even now. It is not easy to be an active part of a faith community. But then again, I'm not sure we were ever promised that it would be easy. We are relating to people, which is rarely an easy but almost always a rewarding path!

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  3. Good heavens Christian sister., i feel exactly the same way i haven't even looked
    at your website i just sat down and typed in "what is it really all about"
    and your site popped up. I focus on negative things and optimism does'nt come
    easy to me. I snapped at my co-worker today and feel ashamed that I don't live
    in God's promises more and keep asking Him WHY can't i have it my way sometimes.

    I have a daughter that is not walking w Christ who lives in Oregon with my only
    granddaughter and I'm trying to move there and have prayed for 3 years and
    still He says to me my life verse "Be Still and Know that I am God
    I lost my other daughter to suicide several years ago and went thru a painful
    divorce before that after 16 yrs of marriage. I thought I did all the right
    things, putting him through Bible college..
    Through the years i have spent hours trying to figure it out but
    there is no figuring it out it is simply and at times agonizinly hard to SURRENDER
    and i have to ask Him to give me strength to draw close and not pull away because
    we know how MUCH he loves us He DIED for us. Wow thank you wherever you are Sandy

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Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me.