Joining with The Gypsy Mama's group to write without editing for five minutes on this week's topic - identity.
At thirty-one, I thought I would have figured out my identity by now. Instead, it seems cloudier than ever before.
At six, I was the smart girl who got picked first for math board races.
At eleven, I was the slow girl who got picked last for kickball.
At fourteen, I wore my Looney Toons Sweatshirt and black stretch pants to middle school, as did most of my friends.
I thought I would save the world, somehow, someway, when I was sixteen going on seventeen.
As a freshmen in college I thought of myself as the girl who STILL hadn't been kissed.
When I was twenty-two, I felt brave and adventurous, moving across the country to a new place, a new job, all by myself.
I got married at just barely twenty-four, to the "man from the internet."
Throughout my twenties I was a teacher.
And now I am mommy.
But what else am I?
On one hand I am terrified of labels, but on the other hand I feel like I can't avoid them - Not too conservative, but definitely not liberal. Multidenominational, though currently landing somewhere in pentecostalism. An egalitarian who from the outside appears to live the complementarian lifestyle. Semi-feminist who is tired of all the angry women out there.
What does all of this even mean?
It means it doesn't really matter what I am labeled. Many of them will come and go with seasons and phases. But who I am at the core - I hope I am kind and strong, patient and loyal, resilient and compassionate. That's who I want to be.
(Took about two extra minutes this week - hope that is okay!)