Monday, April 30, 2012

the marriage letters - outside influences

Joining with Amber and others for The Marriage Letters series. 

Dear M,
These days in the influences inside our home seem stronger than outside ones.  They influence our sleep (or lack thereof), our meals (what/where we eat and if we eat our food luke-warm or cold), our date nights (I vaguely remember what those are), and which songs get stuck in our head (Wheels on the Bus or Old McDonald).  Everything we do is influence one way or another by the boys.

The outside influences still seem somehow connect to our roles as mommy and daddy. Money (or lack thereof), career decisions (and my constant worry of if this is what we are supposed to be doing), and friendships (which sometimes seem few and far between). The stress of these things make me feel like I will buckle under the weight of them all sometimes.  Of course we know how well I handle these things. I cry and mope. And you work hard and deal with it, and bring me along (sometimes drag me along kicking and screaming). Somehow we overcome the stress of the moment.

"God will not waste your time." 

Over a week later, that phrase still echoes in my head. Perhaps it is because I wrote it on our kitchen chalkboard as a reminder.  I'm stressing less these days about the things I cannot control, all of the unknowns in our life right now and all of the knowns, too. I certainly haven't arrived, but you aren't letting things get to you, so why should I? . We are learning together which outside influences should be allowed to shape us, to help us, to encourage us, and which ones to ignore. As we block out much of the world, we can focus on the ones who influence our short- and long-term decision making. We can focus on those two little ones we want to influence the most in this life together. 


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