Wednesday, April 18, 2012

a little spark

Pudgy little feet dug into the bedroom carpet. Awkward rocking a bit to the side to try to coordinate his legs, his toes, his arms. I held my breath, exhaled, and began to encourage. He saw something he wanted. A book. Of course my sweet little boy wants a book.

After months of working on the same skills in therapy, Bugaboo finally did some belly creeping. On. His. Own!

Three little digs and pushes. Hoorays rush out of this mama's mouth. Then I moved him and made him try it again. Two more little digs and pushes.  He was done after that. The boy just wanted his book. So I let him have it.

Each day when I work with my sixteen month old, I wonder if it is working. I wonder what I am doing wrong. I wonder what I am not doing that I should be doing. I wonder why most other mamas and babies don't have to work so hard for milestones. I wonder why this child of mine seems so content, even though he is not anywhere near what the experts call, "on track." And I wonder some more what I am doing wrong.

The discouragement often lingers, like the smell of burned popcorn, a constant reminder that something didn't go according to plan. But tonight I take small break from my questions and worries.

The creeping was clumsy and slow. My second born did not get very far tonight, a few inches at best. But it was beautiful. The spark that is hope is such a beautiful thing.

linking up with Imperfect Prose to share my wonderings and this celebration



11 comments:

  1. Horray!

    I remember this frustration. I don't know what to say to make you feel better. I think you're doing a great job, celebrating the milestones as they come. Throw everything else out the window, he's moving!!!

    You are not doing anything wrong. You are doing a great job. You are a great mommy.

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    1. Thanks, Joann. Knowing that you have been down this road, your words mean even more.

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  2. oh girl. it's so hard being a mother, yet these victories, they make it worth it, no? praying for continuous process for bugaboo, and for patience and perseverance for you. you are doing such a good job. i just know it. love e.

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  3. Great job, Bugaboo and YOU, Mama! You've both worked hard for this success. And he wanted his book...that just so precious. He sounds and looks like a little Love. Be encouraged :)

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  4. big smiles...i know this had to make you feel so good...and it is great to get those moments of hope after all we go through...

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  5. The milestones are his and yours and worthy of celebration!! It's so hard not to compare, I know. But breathe in these moments of celebration and know that YOU are the mother God chose for Bugaboo.

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  6. Sounds like he is a very special little guy!

    And that his mama is interested in not only shaping him, but in allowing Him to shape her through the process.

    Your spark shines bright, friend.

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    1. Thank you for your encouragement. My prayer is He would shape our family how He sees fit.

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  7. I prayed for you and your little guy. My three-year-old daughter goes to physical therapy for juvenile arthritis. Not a similar situation, but I know something of the sorrows and joys. God speaks volumes through these children, and sometimes it's the caregivers we take them to that need His voice (doctors, therapists, etc.). He knits it together so beautifully, that everyone involved sees His grace at work and grows in Him. I have to remind myself all the time that His high plan is perfect.

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    1. Thank you for your prayers. I think all mamas who has a child who has some sort of struggle identify with each other in some way. And God IS at work. Thanks for the reminder.

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Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me.