Tuesday, April 24, 2012

covered in the hard waiting

"Jesus will be glorified with your struggling relationship..."  

 Then the speaker followed this statement with a specific struggling relationship of mine.

Almost three days later and the words still play over and over in my head. I know this, I believe this, I cling to this, but I want to know how. How can He be glorified? I want that, but I would love some more specifics. A checklist. A how-to. Something. Instead, I take my next step, and I wait. I wait without any guarantees of a happy ending.

"i think waiting is believing. i can say i believe, but many times, it's not what i say but what i do after i say it. " ~emily wierenga 

My heart is heavy because of broken trust. I want to make things work with people, but boundaries, grace, accountability and second, third, seventy-seventh chances all blur together like a finger-painting done by my toddler.

I wait some more. I do not make rash decisions, but my guard is up. It has to be for it is not only my heart that needs protecting, but also the hearts of two little boys.

"God's purpose will always determine His timing. ... God will not waste your time. " ~Pastor Jordan

God will not waste this experience, just as He has not wasted any other heartbreak in previous seasons. Will I trust Him with this pain? With these questions? With His purposes?

 I remember I am covered. Even more than I want to cover and protect my children, the Father wants to cover me. And He will. That fact is enough in this moment. I am covered.


*This is not about The Hubs and I, lest anyone worry about our marriage.  This reflection was prompted by some current life situations and a sermon series "Covered" at the 20twenty community.

6 comments:

  1. AMEN. It's so hard, and what more can we ask but for His cover?
    I'm praying for you!

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    1. Thank you! Even with a heavy heart, my week has been really good. Thankful for His joy and His grace (and thankful for coffee and friends - in real life and online).

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  2. It's the waiting that makes you feel like you are going to die! That you can't trust God anymore. But it's in the waiting that makes your trust in him grow! How difficult to live and learn!

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    1. I know! I wish there was an easier way for my trust to grow. :)

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  3. I don't pretend to know exactly what you're facing, but it sounds so similar to situations in my life that I had to post and tell you, I get it! I empathize! The waiting is the hardest part. After making the initial decision to instill boundaries, waiting is excruciating at times. Hang in there!! I am and my hope is in God Who will never let us down!! God bless you today.

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    1. Yes, He will never let us down! Thank goodness. I keep reminding myself of that truth.

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Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me.