Two decades later and being a divorced-kid hasn't gotten that much easier. Different, but not easier.
The healing of some emotional wounds has not erased the stress that comes with the balancing act of two families instead of one. Adding grand-kids into the mix just adds to my stress, my guilt, my schedule - trying to fit everyone in and make everyone happy, wondering if I have succeeded and having moments of, "Who cares? What about my happiness? I did not cause any of this."
It is exhausting. Yet I find myself still finding things for which to be grateful.
I am grateful for a husband who will let me cry to him over the phone from seven hours away, who gives me a compliment better than, "You are pretty," when he tells me, "I love your honesty."
I am grateful for the two sweetest boys ever who teach me about grace and mercy and also about boundaries and consequences. They remind me that every action has the potential to impact someone else for a very long time.
I am grateful for friends who ask about my trip home, who text me to get together and friends who let me cry at their kitchen table and don't say anything - they just give me that moment.
I am grateful for family members who ask, "How are you doing?" and those who know and trust my heart, even if they don't always do things the same way I do.
I am grateful for a Monday full of spring weather and sunshine and laughter with my babies which seem to be a gift delivered in my backyard just for me from The Father.
Ann's community counting one thousand gifts.
author's note: This is not a judgment on people who are divorced. I know there are legitimate reasons for divorce - abuse, adultery... - This, however, is a reflection on how divorce still affects my life.