Monday, March 12, 2012

finding some gratitude as a divorced kid MM 988-1000)

Two decades later and being a divorced-kid hasn't gotten that much easier. Different, but not easier.

The healing of some emotional wounds has not erased the stress that comes with the balancing act of two families instead of one.  Adding grand-kids into the mix just adds to my stress, my guilt, my schedule - trying to fit everyone in and make everyone happy, wondering if I have succeeded and having moments of, "Who cares? What about my happiness? I did not cause any of this."

It is exhausting. Yet I find myself still finding things for which to be grateful.
Grateful that I have resolved to do whatever it takes to not put my own children through these same trials, these same issues, because contrary to popular belief, children are not resilient, even when they are not children any longer, and time does not heal all wounds.

I am grateful for a husband who will let me cry to him over the phone from seven hours away, who gives me a compliment better than, "You are pretty," when he tells me, "I love your honesty."

 I am grateful for the two sweetest boys ever who teach me about grace and mercy and also about boundaries and consequences.  They remind me that every action has the potential to impact someone else for a very long time.

I am grateful for friends who ask about my trip home, who text me to get together and friends who let me cry at their kitchen table and don't say anything - they just give me that moment.

I am grateful for family members who ask, "How are you doing?" and those who know and trust my heart, even if they don't always do things the same way I do.

I am grateful for a Monday full of spring weather and sunshine and laughter with my babies which seem to be a gift delivered in my backyard just for me from The Father.

Joining with Ann's community counting one thousand gifts.

author's note: This is not a judgment on people who are divorced. I know there are legitimate reasons for divorce - abuse, adultery... - This, however, is a reflection on how divorce still affects my life.


  1. Dear Amanda,

    I have this type situation from a whole different angle. I have a daughter-in-law whose parents are divorced so she has to see two sets of parents and 4 sets of grandparents when she comes home. That means instead of splitting up the time with only one other family. I have to split up my time with them with about 6 other families. Fair? No, but like you, I try to make it work...cheerfully.

    God bless you,

  2. Beautiful heart! I love how you choose to be honest about the pain and how time doesn't erase all of it, and that divorce can and does still hurt even if it happened when you're an adult or if you're dealing with it still as an adult! That is reality. But I also love the hope you have in God and the love you choose to let overflow into your heart and out into those around you! God bless you! - Rachel


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