I hold him in my arms to nurse. The middle of the day times are not quiet, but in the morning and at night the world is usually blocked out. My youngest reaches out his hands to my face sometimes and smiles, a baby "thank you," and my heart feels so happy it could burst.
These moments are almost over for my babe and me. This week we are ending these moments. I feel sadness more than relief.
What will replace these tender moments? Our "conversations" in the morning before the day really gets started, him falling asleep on my shoulder at night.
Yes, I know they will continue, just in a slightly different way. Soon he will join big brother drinking independently from a sippy cup, and I will witness other tender moments, moments that include others rather than just me.
This is life - the balance of hanging on to some things and letting go of others - allowing for growth and change and possibility.
But for now I will hold on to my baby just a moment longer.