Tuesday, December 6, 2011

my baby is turning one

"I cried when I saw my son. I don't think it matters if it is your first baby or your tenth. There is something miraculous about being given the gift of a child - through whatever means you are blessed to have one - and seeing him for the first time.  The responsibility, the enormity, fragility of it all meshes together in that moment which is just about as sacred as any moment can get.  You know in that moment unconditional love - for this child has done nothing to earn your love and will do nothing to lose your love - you love him just because he exists and just because he is yours.  And you know without a doubt you will do whatever is in your power to do what is best for him.  And in that moment you glimpse the face of God, you hear His heartbeat, and you know just a fraction of the love He has for you.  And you are humbled and amazed and grateful. Incredibly grateful."

I wrote this about a month after Bugaboo was born.

In the morning, he turns one year old.  It may be an understatement to say that I am a little sad about this.

I love all that you are learning and doing and becoming, but I selfishly want to keep you small enough to hold. I want to keep your out-of-control-hair in the same crazy style.  I want to keep kissing your smooshy cheeks and lifting you above my head just to see you smile. My sweet baby boy, our perfect surprise, getting bigger each day.  I cannot imagine our family without you.


  1. Aww... I totally understand. My baby turned one on Nov 14th. Hugs to you!

  2. Ohmigoodness! I can't believe he's one already! Happy birthday, Bugaboo! Happy birth day, Amanda!

  3. Love your words. So true. And the uncontrollable hair thing, I so get. I hope my daughter's hair always stays the way it is right now (although, I know she wouldn't appreciate it). lol. Oh, these kids are such amazing blessings.

  4. Stopped by from Emily's.

    I love what you say here about selfishly wanting your son to stay little. The learning is amazing, but the growing up is hard.


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