The complaints pour out much easier than the list of gratitude. It is just a few days after Thanksgiving, and already I am ungrateful. The long ride with a teething baby. Smooshing in the backseat of car between two large carseats for hours. The noise the car is making that concerns us. The "check brake" light that came on in our other car yesterday. The ol' dilapidated Christmas tree that somehow doesn't fit in our living room this year - even though it is the same tree, same living room.
We drove down the interstate, the last forty-five minutes the same path I took post-Thanksgiving-Sundays for years. "Live it up!" I yell to the college students I assume are driving in the other lanes of traffic.
Life's problems seemed overwhelming then. Exams. Papers. Dorm drama. Lack of boyfriend 98% of my college years.
And now a decade-ish later, I can't help but wish I was going back to a dorm this week. For late nights playing Mancala while making major life decisions while listening to Sara Groves and Jennifer Knapp on the cd player. For long walks around campus in hoodies and scrubs. For chapel three times a week - a chance to worship and renew. For cafeteria food because it was cooked, paid for, and being cleaned up by someone else.
Will I look back as a forty-year old at this period of my life and tell thirty-year-old-mommies-of-little-ones, "Live it up"? Will I miss the cramped house with Cheerios and rubber duckies strewn about? The meals shoveled down because I was feeding two other people at the same time?
I don't want to miss the joy in these years, these moments. I must choose thanksgiving in all seasons.
giving thanks for
safe travels ~ family, near and far... well they all seem far these days ~ new friends/small group training ~ sister-in-law (and brother) letting us use their house for the party ~ celebrating Bugaboo's birthday early ~ still a little over a week with my baby being a baby ~ step-sister feeling more and more like sisters as coffee and books and conversation are shared ~ Melissa and Sammie and Erinn taking care of my boys at the various festivities ~ five generations pictures ~ Papa-made rocking horse enjoyed now by my babies, thirty-years later