I love the quiet of a Friday night. I find myself very reflective on the couch by myself as The Hubs works on paperwork or homework. I found myself thinking about all my mistakes this week instead of the things I did well. Why is it so much easier to do that? I need to refocus. What are my priorities? What stresses me out? What can I let go of? How can I be more positive? Why am I a mommy?
I can't answer them all right now - I don't have the brain cells to figure it out tonight. But I can start with the last one.
And just now I was thinking about the wedding verses from last weekend's ceremony - 1 Corinthians 13 - and how those words shouldn't just be read for weddings, but they also should be read the day you bring your babies into your home, but with a slight variation.
Mommy is patient and kind;
Mommy does not envy or boast; she is not arrogant or rude.
She does not insist on her own way; she is not irritable or resentful;
she does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Mommy bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Isn't that what I would want to be? It doesn't matter what I wear or how great my house looks, how many degrees I have or what clique I am a part of, my main responsibility, my main calling right now is to show and give and be love for my boys.