For instance, this morning I read some posts about an upcoming challenge to dress "frump-free" (or something) for a month. The heart of this challenge was to be our best for our husbands, families, etc. I respect that idea. I get it. However...
To me this challenge is just one more "Christian woman" expectation that I don't live up to, nor do I want to.
First let me say that I love clothes. If I ever have spare money again, I will buy some new, cute clothing. But right now it is not a priority. And at this stage in life spare money for coffee trumps cute clothes every time.
But this is not really about clothes.
It is the mindset out there that I should be put-together.
The mindset that we, as women, should be put-together.
Well, friends, I'm not.
I put my make-up on in the car on the way to church. And on the rare night out with friends or The Hubs.
Monday-Friday I wear jeans and a random assortment of old college t-shirts , unless of course, I am feeling bloated, and then I wear yoga-pants (which have never been used for yoga or any other workout activity). I even wear this ensemble to the grocery store. *gasp*
My priorities each day are getting the laundry done, the dishwasher unloaded, and oh yeah, the kids loved and educated (both my own and the ones I am called to watch). So I'm going to be a little frumpy because I spend my day getting snotted on, spit up on, and baby-food dribbled on. And I'm not ruining my good clothes on that. Plus, I spend 92% of my day on the floor, and shoes and cute clothes are not compatible with that.
If I DO dress nice (and there are days I do, even baby-sitting days), it is because I want to. I could never be married to man who needed me to be put-together, especially in the line of work I am in.
So maybe this is just my issue, but could we as Christian women stop telling each other what a good wife/mom does unless we can clearly back it up with Scripture? And I'm preaching to myself because while I can find fault with the no-frump-month-challenge, I know in my heart I have thought or said, "A good wife/mom/Christian does/doesn't do such-and-such." But it was based on my opinion.
There are enough comparison traps in the world, in the Church ... we don't need another one. I think this challenge hits women where they are most vulnerable, and that makes me sad.
Let's stop the guilt-trips. Let's encourage one another instead to know that it is okay to have Cheerios on the floor, to keep the fingerprints on the coffee table, to order pizza when dinner burns, and to walk around in sweat pants and bare feet 365 days a year.
|me rocking some brown sweatpants and a faded blue t-shirt today, no make-up as usual|
*I am not writing this to be a jerk. In the past, I have read other things by this blogger that I like. I just feel like there are probably other women out there who read about this challenge and may feel the same way as I do and need some encouragement. I did comment on the blog about this challenge, and respectfully let the author know that I disagreed with this challenge. But it is a free world, and I think if women want to do this, good for them! But don't feel like less of a woman if it is not your thing.