Saturday, October 8, 2011

Christmas is comin' the goose is gettin' fat

Did anyone else have the Muppet/John Denver Christmas album where I think Gonzo and Miss Piggy sing this song?  True confession - still one of my favorite Christmas albums ever because it takes me back to being six years old.

Anyhoo ... this post is mostly for family who have asked Christmas-present-questions, although there is a mommy-advice question at the end of the post. 

Christmas is just a couple of months away, and sadly the goose is not gettin' fat at our house.  Just when we thought we'd be able to give again this Christmas (because our medical bills are paid off), we had the gigantic plumbing issue.  So we do not want/need anything. I know I have said this to some, and still have been asked what the boys want/need for Christmas.

They do not need any more toys.

I hope that doesn't sound harsh. Just fact. We are grateful for what they have been given.  The only possible toy Bugaboo may need is a new shape sorter because big brother lost the lid (the shape sorting part) and 54% of the shapes.  Educational gifts are good.  Experiences would make a great Christmas gift.  A zoo membership for our family to use in the spring/summer/fall would be an idea.  Parent-and-me swim classes for either or both boys.  Preschool "scholarship" to send Bubby one day a week next year.  Consumable art supplies for Bubby (We go through crayons, markers, watercolors and construction paper like nobody's business.) Board books for Bugaboo. I know some have given us the gift of airline tickets to see California family.  We are very excited and thankful for this gift because time with the people we love is the best gift of all. 

But before Christmas is Bugaboo's first birthday.  I hate that his birthday is so close to Christmas.  As a January baby, I always wanted to avoid having my children born in December or January because people tend not to care as much about those birthdays thanks to cruddy weather and the consumerism stress of the holidays.  Anyhoo - I am a little stressed because I want my second born's day to be special.  As special as our oldest.  I get sad when I look at the cards and notes that were sent when Bubby was born compared to when Bugaboo was born. Maybe I am overthinking. Maybe Bugaboo will not care one iota in the future, but when you are the second-born, same-gender as the first-born, born just a year-and-a-half-after-big-brother child, it seems you already have some things stacked against you.

Am I overthinking?  What can I do to rid myself of this guilt? What can I do to make sure Bugaboo gets just as much "specialness" as Bubby did? Suggestions? Advice? Or just get over it?


  1. I've thought of that too. I always wonder if its Ok to be the younger sister of a set of twins that were the first grand kids on both sides and very indulged. Or if its Ok to be the sisters of a Special Needs boy that gets some Special Attention. Or if its Ok to be the brother of a pair of Sisters that are living the good life while you are struggling to understand school etiquette.

    I guess the bottom line is that you can draw your subsets any which way and somebody always comes out on top and somebody always comes out on the bottom.

    I personally think the younger siblings have a pretty sweet deal, right from the get-go. Exposure to older toys, a built-in super-cool best friend to look up to, being able to play the "baby" card when they need to....SWEET!

  2. I fear the same things. I am the second born of the same gender, and there were times I felt like I got the "short end of the stick"--hand-me-downs, "oh, you're Melissa's sister," why don't you so things like Melissa does?....etc, etc, etc. As I look back now...I did get the sweet deal, as Beagoodmom put it. I've had the benefit of learning (hopefully) from all of my sister's mistakes and successes, I have a built-in best friend--someone who is like a second mom and is always looking out for me, and I was able to develop a completely different personality from my sister--which has made us even closer. I also relate because Sammy's birthday is two weeks from Christmas and my next has a good possibility of being born in January!! Planning Sammy's birthday party is always a nightmare because I feel guilty inviting people right before Christmas and a lot of people are always too busy to come. I've learned to make Sammy's birthday/Christmas presents stretch ALL year. We just opened his last gift the other day. Bottom line: I don't think you're over thinking, and you'll have plenty of time to make sure each of your boys gets his specialness! My parents never compared my sister and I, and we had such different personalities that we couldn't help but be special on our own in our parent's eyes (She played piano and sang and I danced, she was quiet and I was obnoxious!). I'm still wracking my brain on how to make Sammy's too-close-to-the holidays birthday special (especially once he gets older). We haven't even bought him a gift for a birthday yet because he doesn't have a clue if we do or not (and family members have spoiled him). Last year we only got him like two or three things for Christmas too. We plan on doing the same this year. Once he gets older, we will have to get more creative. We even thought about having a small family party in December and a half-birthday friend party in the summer so he can have fun summer birthday-type parties like other kids (when he gets to school-age). You're not alone in your guilt, my friend! But I am confident your boys will never not feel special. Not to sound cliche, but God made them perfect in His perfect time and put them in your care because he knew they would feel loved and special. Love you, my friend!


Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me.