Thursday, September 8, 2011

the mom guilt

Today I was attacked by guilt.  Just hours after a great "pep talk" by bff Beth Moore no less. (Okay, we are not bffs -I only know her through books and DVDs and I even disagree with her on a few things, but my goodness, I still love that gal). The thoughts swarmed in, mostly during lunch prep and clean-up:
  • The guilt of not catching that there may or may not be something amiss with Bugaboo's development.
  • The guilt of dividing my time between my kids and the kids I baby-sit.
  • The guilt of not holding/reading to/fill-in-the-blank Bugaboo/Bubby enough.
  • The guilt of being so tired of playing with kids by 4:30 every day the last thing I want to do is ready Bubby another story.
  • The guilt of thinking if I went back to work for a "real" job the kids would have nicer things.
  • The guilt of thinking if I was able to "just be" a stay-at-home mom the kids would get to do the things we used to do pre-childcare (library time, park visits, coffee runs...okay the last one is just for me).
  • The guilt of Bubby handing me a dust bunny and saying, "Daddy vacuums."
  • The guilt of not calling/emailing/texting/facebooking/visiting friends and family enough.

It is heavy, all of that guilt. It weighed me down for a good portion of the day.  But then I remembered something Beth said last night (paraphrasing here)- If something hinders you from experiencing/knowing/believing Truth, it is bondage.

  • The truth is my kids know I love them, and I am doing what is best for our family at this specific season in our lives.  
  • The truth is Bubby wasn't upset about the dust bunny - he thought it was cool, and only mentioned vacuuming because a) he loves the vacuum and b)I mentioned needing to vacuum first.  
  • The truth is even before I started baby-sitting, I had feelings of guilt about not being enough for my kids, my husband, my family, my friends.  
And you know what - I am not enough.
I am not enough for anyone.
I am not enough for myself.
I am not enough, nor should I be.

And that may be my first step to real freedom from guilt.

(joining last minute with Emily @ imperfectprose)

8 comments:

  1. This is sooooo important.
    I think that you should print off this post. Or at least bookmark it. So that you can read it -- every day.

    Or...at least the bottom part!
    You are doing awesome. :)

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  2. I am with Meredith you are doing awesome!! Love the picture of you and your precious little ones! :-)

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  3. Quantity time creates quality time. Meaning, that you don't need to worry about the "Quality" of your interactions with your child too much. If you just spend tons of time with them, the quality comes naturally. Put that guilt right out of your mind. You are waaaay ahead of the game on the quantity/quality time one....and you know that is really the most important one anyway.

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  4. I think no matter what "kind" of mom you are, you feel guilt. I feel guilt because I spend time with 120 kids a day aside from Sammy, but like you, I know I am doing what is right for me and my family. You said it best at the end...you will never be enough...none of us will be. We do the best we can and love our kids with all we have. You'll look back on that picture/read this blog next week, next year, years from now and know that you were right where He wanted you in that moment :)

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  5. That is why it occurred to me that being a "good" mom isn't about balance (or being all things to all people), it is about obedience...doing what He called you to do...and doing it with all of your heart.

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  6. Jeesh, I don't even have kiddos and I put myself under the "mom guilt" of feeling like I'm not being everything to everyone around me. It's always so refreshing (and needed!) every time someone in the blogosphere reminds me that that isn't what it's all about. Good post!

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  7. That mommy-guilt is so deceptive. No matter what you do, the devil tries to make you think it's not good enough. You said it right - you are in a season - we are all in seasons that call different things out of us - and create changes in our behavior and activities. I've learned this past year to find joy in the moment - not worry about an hour from now, or how nice things were 3 years ago - or how life will be in a year - just living and loving in the now - the best way we can!

    Everytime you feel guilt, throw it away. Replace it with a joy thought, or a hug. I've been working on that:

    Hoping you having a weekend of blessing and joy!

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Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me.