Sunday, February 6, 2011

past postpartum and MM 413-424

The fog is lifting.  The fog of post-partum depression.
I didn't know if I should be bold enough to write about it, but there isn't much I shy away from here, and maybe my little bit of boldness will help someone else.
January was a rough month for me emotionally. The end of December was too.  I cried a lot.  I felt exhausted. I argued with The Hubs.  I kept it together pretty well for The Boys, but barely.  I didn't want to do anyone any harm, myself included, but I did want to get in the car and drive away from here, from my marriage.  And it wasn't about The Hubs or me or what our marriage is or isn't.  It was the hormones and the mind and the exhaustion and the stress.
But there were a couple of Divine Appointments.  I really and truly believe the right people came in my path at the right time. And I talked to my doctor's office and got some medication (and if you have the same opinions as Tom Cruise on this then you can just stop reading my blog forever).  And I know some people were praying.  And the fog is lifting.  I feel human again.  I am smiling and laughing more again, and I am rational again.  And I am writing this because there is no shame in what I dealt with, just as there is no shame if someone has diabetes or chicken pox or the flu.
I am just so very thankful that the fog is lifting.

Joining with Ann's community and my continued list of blessings:
413. modern medicine
414. insightful people
415. snow days
416. 3 out of 4 of us almost over our nasty colds
417. baked potato soup, banana bread, and other yummy comfort foods I made this week
418. a gift card for a meal that I didn't have to cook this weekend
419. most of the dog fur out of my house (post on this coming soon, I think)
420. The Hubs taking care of Bubby on the mornings he doesn't have to get out of the house early

421. peanut butter frap that The Hubs made at home - sooo good and sooo much cheaper than buying one at a coffee place
422. taking pictures of my babies
423. watching Bubby and The Hubs sword fight with the vacuum attachments, and Bubby being concerned when his daddy faked being hurt - such a tenderhearted little guy
424. the way Bugaboo smells...how do babies smell so good?

7 comments:

  1. There is no shame. God gently held me in His hands during those days for me, and I too asked for help. Take care of yourself and your babies we Mothers put so much on our plate. My heart and prayers go out to you.

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  2. Somehow I hadn't put the pieces together until now, but PPD is something I know well. After my second was born, I had a fairly severe case of PPD that took well over a year to pull out of. I"m very glad to hear that you've gotten the help you need. Yay for meds!

    p.s the pictures are adorable. :)

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  3. prayed for you as i read this ... that the fog continues to lift. that you see Him.

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  4. so glad you stopped by my blog today because it mad eme visit your and your children made me smile! and i.know.that.fog. i've struggled with depression off and on since 6th grade. as an adult, i take meds for it. (even though some christians seem to think i should just pray more)and living without that fog is wonderful.

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  5. thank you so much for your honesty. So glad that the fog is lifting. I'll pray for you right now.

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  6. If the fog has lifted and you can look back and see that it was just a blip on your Mothering Map, then you will be totally fine going forward. Good for you. I had some hard times when I was pregnant with our last. I got hung up on a fear that she would have Autism too. Rationally, I knew that it would not matter and that things would be fine, but emotionally it was something I could not stop thinking about. I also got a prescription, and just carried it in my purse. Somehow, just knowing it was there and I could take it if I wanted, made me feel better. I'm proud of you for being brave enough to take care of yourself and your family, and to talk about it.

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  7. I’m here from Ann’s. Sorry so late but it takes a long time to get through all of these gratitude lists – and comment like I mean it.

    Oh how I just prayed for your struggle. It has to be one of the hardest ones on this planet. I can’t begin to understand the depths. But I prayed anyway.

    And my fave your list?

    420. The Hubs taking care of Bubby on the mornings he doesn't have to get out of the house early (A marriage that works like a team – it’s God’s design – and this made me smile)

    This was a really good thing to read today

    God Bless and Keep You and all of yours

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Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me.