This blog isn't always sunshine and lollipops. I wish I could blog like that. No, I take that back. I don't want to blog like that, but I wouldn't mind if my life were all sunshine and lollipops so that the only thing I COULD blog about was such things.
But it was a rough day here at our house. And through the course of arguing many topics came up. One being that it is time for me to start looking for a job.
Let me restate. It is time for me to start looking for a job that pays the bills.
I love my current job. LOVE it.
But it doesn't pay the bills.
And our Dave Ramsey budgeted nest egg of 3-6 month salary fund is almost depleted because we had two NICU babies (one of whom has yet to have his bills start coming in), I stopped teaching, The Hubs changed jobs and that hasn't panned out as well as we had hoped. Yep that pretty much explains it.
No fancy trips. No fancy purchases. No debt other than mortgage, small student loan, and medical bills. We don't even have cable. Our big splurge is a fru-fru coffee now and then and Sonic Happy Hour half-priced sodas. But I have learned that I can't keep doing what I am doing.
And honestly, friends, I am devastated.
Last year I wasn't thrilled about going back to work, but I was willing until I knew in my gut that I wasn't supposed to. Right now I don't even feel like being willing to go back to work. And it isn't about the work, the teaching, the co-workers, the students, the crazy-parents (okay, maybe that is a little of it, haha), it is just the fact that I LOVE being home with my kids. I am not a great homemaker - I do so-so at keeping up with the chores, my cooking has definitely improved but I'm no Martha Stewart - but I am good at mommy-ing. Darn good. And it is what I want to do with my life. But it looks like I am going to have to stop, at least for awhile, and put on my big girl panties and suck it up.
But right now I just want to pout and cry a little. Okay, a lot. The ugly cry.
So please pardon this pity-party - I will bounce back - I will - but if you are the praying type, say one for me today.
And if you are the generous millionaire type, send me a blank check. :)
(It can't be that bad... I still have my sense of humor.)