Monday, January 31, 2011

things Bubby did today

  • "read" quietly in his room all on his own choosing while I was taking care of Bugaboo
  • said "thank you" to me without any prompting when I handed him a bite of blueberry scone
  • somehow took of his pants and threw them out of his crib during naptime
  • had some quality mommy play time while Bugaboo napped
  • grabbed a banana and took a bite out of the bottom of it with the peel still on
 And what did Bugaboo do today?
  • ate, filled diapers, slept, fussed, snuggled

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Charles Dickens described it best - and MM 401-412

Life certainly is interesting.  Sometimes I feel like the opening of A Tale of Two Cities is so appropriate for my life..."It was the best of times. It was the worst of times."  There have been days when I have wanted to get in the car and drive away to anywhere but here, and days  when I look around and my heart feels that it could burst at the joy of what I have been given (and most days fall somewhere in the middle.)The last couple of months have been a roller coast of emotions - joy at Bugaboo's arrival, worry/disappointment at his NICU stay, appreciation for the great medical care, frustration at the great medical cost, adjustment to having two children, hormonal shifts and lack of sleep and hearing that we may be getting some assistance with some of our medical bills but there will be more hoops and paperwork to deal with and knocking on a new door of potential opportunity for a couple of years down the road...

So I keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Trying to take what life hands me with grace, but not always succeeding at that because some days I think all I do is whine and complain. My attempt at reminding myself to be thankful begins again at the start of each week.   So I join once again with Ann's community, counting 1,000 gifts...

401. gorgeous January days with unusually warm weather

402. a trip to the park with my guys

403. the smell of Bugaboo's hair after a bath

404. the way each of my boys smells after Daddy holds them
405. not stressing out for once when I opened the medical bills...
406. Bubby napping on the couch with me for comfort when he didn't feel well
407. menus planned and grocery shopping done for the week
408. cookies made from  dough in the freezer leftover from Christmas
409. doing puzzles and reading books with Bubby while the baby naps
410. moments in the middle of the night that are just Bugaboo and me
411. black and white movies to watch with The Hubs
412.  getting both boys ready (and sort of myself ready)and out of the house for MOPS on Friday

Thursday, January 27, 2011

repost for imperfect prose

For imperfect prose today, I am reposting something I wrote a couple of weeks ago because I am too tired to write anything new today.  But it IS NEW to imperfect prose. :)

The baby wakes in the unbearable hour of the night for a diaper change and a meal.
And just as the burping begins
the toddler cries from down the hall

And four bodies

two big
two little
share a queen-sized bed for a few moments

and even in the exhaustion of the moment

I take time to enjoy
this family all together
warm and cozy on a chilly January night

then I take three steps to put baby back in bassinet

and he scoops toddler and trods down the hall
only to return minutes later with crying tike

and the tiny feet kick my back

and gurgles echo across the room
and I laugh at 2 AM remembering a ridiculous sitcom we actually had a chance to watch
and he laughs too

we sleep

briefly it seems
toddler and baby are up with the sun
sippy cup in bed for one while the other nurses
and we put off starting the day just a little longer

until I lean over and declare

rather than request

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

what are the MacBoys up to?

  • walking like an almost-pro - he can even pull himself up without the use of a person or piece of furniture now (though the use of such things is more convenient)
  • talking up a storm and becoming more understandable with his words
  • continuing to get into the trashcan
  • knowing how to ALMOST put a cd/dvd into the dvd player on the tv - this is NOT a good thing
  • loving on his new baby brother - he says "baby!" in a high pitched voice and tries to hug him (slightly dangerous without adult supervision) and give him the binky and the burpcloth
  • sticking the baby's binky in his mouth even though he was never a binky-baby
  • clapping when we watch Wheel of Fortune and repeating some letters as they say them
  • giving people new names - Grampy is now called Boppy and we are trying to get him to not call Uncle FMan "Chow"

    • formerly known as Wink, we are still working on a nickname for this one
    • reflux isn't painful now that he's on meds, but spit up is still an issue, especially when laying on his back
    • has been sleeping upright on his belly on my chest at night - going 3-4 hour stretches at a time at night, and last night had a 5 hour stretch
    • still having his soft wildman hair
    • no longer pooping every 45 minutes!

    Monday, January 24, 2011

    birthday blessings and MM 393-

    While I was away last week, I had my 30th birthday.  It was low-key because I was in IL visiting my family with the boys, and it was stinkin' cold and snowy there.  When I returned home to MO, my heart was warmed.  Waiting for me were several birthday cards with sweet notes, some of which made me cry, and financial gifts to put towards our medical bills.  Some people, with their own medical bills they are paying off, gave and I cried.  People with their own kiddos to provide for gave and I cried. A card from my best friend made me cry.  A card from a family friend that has known me my entire life made me cry.  Basically every piece of mail made me cry.
    Thank you, friends and family, for your kindness and generosity.  You made my day.

    Giving thanks today:
    393. birthday blessings
    394.time with family
    395. Bubby walking better and better each day
    396. taco pizza
    397. step-sister who changs diapers
    398. birthday nap
    399. checking several unpleasant phone calls off my list today
    400. toddler and newborn that travel from MO to IL and from IL to MO wonderfully

    Friday, January 14, 2011

    more answered prayers

    An answer came
    in a pink envelope today
    with flowers on a card
    and a note
    from a long-time friend.

    And I cried when I read it
    and cried more when I saw the contents
    the gift

    Somehow she heard my prayer
    from hundreds of miles away
    and she gave above and beyond
    to answer it

    She practices what she preaches
    this friend of mine

    She prays fervently
    worships beautifully
    gives sacrifically
    and she teaches me across the miles
    what Jesus is like

    that He still moves people 
    that He still provides
    that He still answers prayers

    easing back into work and other things

    I was going to sub last fall, but how The Hubs' work schedule was looking didn't look like it would work for me to do that and avoid childcare.
    But I am going to sub in my old district (spread the word, friends) on Tuesdays and Thursdays once my application and fingerprints get processed.  Hopefully that will just take a couple of weeks.  And now that I am over my pity-party, I am looking forward to seeing old friends and making a little money to hand over to St. John's Hospital.

    The Hubs is signed up for a couple of classes as we test the waters to see if there will be some major life changes (more schooling, job change eventually, potential move that w) or if I will return to teaching full time or if there is something completely out of the blue God has in store for us that we haven't found out about yet.

    Stay tuned... :)

    Thursday, January 13, 2011

    so I won't forget these moments

    The baby wakes in the unbearable hour of the night for a diaper change and a meal.
    And just as the burping begins
    the toddler cries from down the hall

    And four bodies
    two big
    two little
    share a queen-sized bed for a few moments

    and even in the exhaustion of the moment
    I take time to enjoy
    this family all together
    warm and cozy on a chilly January night

    then I take three steps to put baby back in bassinet
    and he scoops toddler and trods down the hall
    only to return minutes later with crying tike

    and the tiny feet kick my back
    and gurgles echo across the room
    and I laugh at 2 AM remembering a ridiculous sitcom we actually had a chance to watch
    and he laughs too

    we sleep
    briefly it seems
    toddler and baby are up with the sun
    sippy cup in bed for one while the other nurses
    and we put off starting the day just a little longer

    until I lean over and declare
    rather than request

    Wednesday, January 12, 2011

    The baggage we carry gets unloaded
    as we fight sleep deprivation, emotions, and with each other
    Words fly like dirty clothes being tossed from suitcase to floor
    Tears fall as the empty feeling wraps around me like a fuzzy bathrobe
    I cinch it tighter, this familiar feeling, and wallow in it

    And I wonder why it is so hard
    this two becoming one
    this hupatasso - lifting, supporting

    But we start again
    mercies new every morning
    this morning
    because there is a bigger picture
    and the promise is for more than just the two of us now

    and not every day is as hard as yesterday
    and today is almost done
    and tomorrow awaits beckoning with a voice of hope

    joining with emily


    And when I am stressed/upset/whatever I go to one of two extremes
    1. sleep/laziness (which isn't really an option with a newborn and a toddler)
    2. productivity mode

    Today I have done all the normal stuff (feeding/caring for the boys) plus - gave Wink a bath, did some laundry, unloaded dishwasher, decluttered/dusted/vacuumed the main rooms, made homemade baked potato soup for lunch.  I feel better. 

    Now if the boys can coordinate their naps today so I can have a few moments of laziness, that would be excellent.

    a little sleep goes a long way

    I am feeling better today than yesterday.  Not great, but decent.  It is amazing what a little sleep can do.  Wink actually got some winks last night instead of partying (aka pooping and spitting up) all night long.

    The no-dairy thing didn't work for him, so yesterday the doc put Wink on an antacid.  I think it is starting to help a little since he is less fussy - and went back to sleep after feeding and staying upright last night.  I hope this continues, and that he goes back to his semi-long stretches of night sleep he was giving us over a week ago.

    It is also amazing what a shoulder to cry on can do.  Someone from church stopped by yesterday, and when she asked how I was, I started crying.  She let me cry.  She listened and we talked about the tiredness, the transition from one to two, the hormones. That helped to not feel so alone in this phase.

    Well, Bubby is in the trash for the millionth time, so I will log out.  Just wanted to say I am here. I am functioning. :)

    Tuesday, January 11, 2011


    This blog isn't always sunshine and lollipops. I wish I could blog like that. No, I take that back.  I don't want to blog like that, but I wouldn't mind if my life were all sunshine and lollipops so that the only thing I COULD blog about was such things.
    But it was a rough day here at our house.  And through the course of arguing many topics came up.  One being that it is time for me to start looking for a job.
    Let me restate.  It is time for me to start looking for a job that pays the bills.
    I love my current job. LOVE it.
    But it doesn't pay the bills.
    And our Dave Ramsey budgeted nest egg of 3-6 month salary fund is almost depleted because we had two NICU babies (one of whom has yet to have his bills start coming in), I stopped teaching, The Hubs changed jobs and that hasn't panned out as well as we had hoped.  Yep that pretty much explains it.
    No fancy trips. No fancy purchases. No debt other than mortgage, small student loan, and medical bills. We don't even have cable.  Our big splurge is a fru-fru coffee now and then and Sonic Happy Hour half-priced sodas.  But I have learned that I can't keep doing what I am doing. 
    And honestly, friends, I am devastated. 
    Last year I wasn't thrilled about going back to work, but I was willing until I knew in my gut that I wasn't supposed to.  Right now I don't even feel like being willing to go back to work. And it isn't about the work, the teaching, the co-workers, the students, the crazy-parents (okay, maybe that is a little of it, haha), it is just the fact that I LOVE being home with my kids. I am not a great homemaker - I do so-so at keeping up with the chores, my cooking has definitely improved but I'm no Martha Stewart - but I am good at mommy-ing.  Darn good.  And it is what I want to do with my life.  But it looks like I am going to have to stop, at least for awhile, and put on my big girl panties and suck it up.
    But right now I just want to pout and cry a little. Okay, a lot.  The ugly cry. 
    So please pardon this pity-party - I will bounce back - I will - but if you are the praying type, say one for me today.
    And if you are the generous millionaire type, send me a blank check. :)
    (It can't be that bad... I  still have my sense of humor.)

    Monday, January 10, 2011

    rough day at the office

    Bubby ate lunch early before physical therapy today, but while The Hubs and I were having lunch, he had a snack and a drink.
    It didn't last very long before he did this:

    Learning to be an independent walker is hard work!

    (Of course he woke up as soon as I removed the sippy cup from his death grip!)

    January weekends and MM 379-392

     I love the weekends, which may sound strange from a stay-at-home-mom, but it means The Hubs is home on Saturday and Sunday evenings (and days), and therefore I still appreciate the goodness of the weekend.
    And even though I am not teaching again this year, I still appreciate the goodness of the snow day.  So for all my teacher friends, I am saying a little prayer for one this week - as long as the snow doesn't happen while The Hubs is driving to and from his clients around the area. And as long as the snow doesn't bring ice. Or power outages. Or both.  Basically the snow needs to follow the rules my friend has given it. ;)
    Yes, the simple things in life bring me joy - weekends, snow days, a renewed excitement of consistently getting into The Word, and the ice cream bars in my freezer that are calling my name, taunting me, but the resolve to avoid eating one.
    Other things that bring me joy:
    379. Friday night movie night on the couches with my three favorite guys
    380. getting out of the house and to PG class this morning
    381. John chapter one - I keep wandering back to it - grace upon grace, the right to become children of God, became flesh, dwelt among us, full of grace and truth, grace upon grace
    382. wild baby hair that is as soft as a baby chick's fuzz
    383. Bubby attempting to give his baby brother the binky
    384. dog who gets up to check the baby each time the apnea monitor beeps
    385. Bubby big enough to attempt toddler nursery today - but not quite ready to handle it, so back to infant nursery
    386. playing blocks with my toddler

    387. napping with baby on my chest
    388. speakers who challenge and encourage all at once
    389. the call to pray - for the orphan, the widow, the broken-hearted - and the reminder that He still answers
    390. Great lasagna and a-maz-ing cheesecake made by The Hubs' friend's wife for us this week - and the thoughtfulness of the meal
    391. sister-in-law coming by two evenings last week to lend a hand
    392. (from a distance this morning) seeing friends who prayed for a baby walk into church with their baby girl

    Sunday, January 9, 2011

    one month pictures

    Here is Mac2.0/Wink/Bug at one month old:

    the birth story

    A month later, I am finally getting a chance to record how Mac2.0/Wink/Bug got here...

    I had a regular Monday night. The Hubs worked, Bubby and I watched the first episode of The Sing Off on which I learned there was REALLY a group called the Whiffenpoofs (and it wasn't just a Gilmore Girls thing).  I went to bed around eleven that night.  Around midnight I woke up feeling contractions. I timed them - about 8-10 minutes apart.  I was able to sleep in between them, but I kind of felt in my gut this could be the real deal.  A little after one the contractions were about five minutes apart and stronger.  After having so many false alarms, I wanted to wait and see if they would go away.  I let The Hubs know what was going on.  Around 2we made the decision that I needed to go to the hospital.  The contractions weren't stopping.  The Hubs stayed at home with Bubby incase it was another false alarm.  We didn't want to have to wake up Auntie Missa and Uncle Fman for nothing.  I would communicate with The Hubs via texting since the hospital has terrible cell phone reception.

    I called the hospital, and of course they wanted to see me with what was going on and with my history.  I got there between 2:30 and 3 AM I think.  They checked me - I was 3 cm and 80-90% with contractions 2 minutes apart at this point.  They gave me more Procardia, had me drink a ton of water, and had me walk the halls for an hour to see if the contractions would stop/if I would stay at a 3.  I didn't.  I was at 4.  They had me walk again for another hour, then they checked me again.  I was 4 1/2.  I called The Hubs who took care of calling my brother and sister-in-law to come over to watch Bubby.  The contractions were very strong when I was walking the halls. I had to stop at some points when they hit.  When The Hubs got there, I was out of L&D triage and in my own room waiting for my epidural.  There was shift change right before the epi so I had to wait awhile, and while the contractions were painful, I wouldn't describe them as agonizing (which apparently another patient did while I was there getting an epidural I overheard the doctors say).  Anyhoo - I was very brave and had the student anestheisiologist do the epi this time. Can you believe it?  It took awhile, but once it was in and working, I felt amazing. :)  And eventually I had very, very numb legs.  So much so that the nurse had to move my leg for me when they needed it moved.  By 9 AM I was at 6.  At 11 I was at a 7.  Eight at noon.  Around this time I think my mom, sister-in-law, brother, and Bubby arrived to hang out for awhile, and a little bit after that my dad and step-mom got there.  By 2:30 I was told I was going to be able to be pushing very soon.  The nurse had me do a practice push before the doctor got back (she had been by around noon and I think they gave me a little pitocin then to move things around.)
    The doctor got there and everyone had left the room by this point except The Hubs I might add - oh everyone that I knew - there were the typical L&D people, some NICU people, AND the paramedic that I allowed to come in to watch. Yes, folks, by baby #2 you apparently don't care who is in the room at all. :)  Anway, the doctor was there, and I gave two rounds of pushing (that's it - don't be jealous - small baby but baby who spent days in the NICU) and he was here.  As he was out the doctor told me to open my eyes. Amazing.  Slimy, yes, but amazing.  The Hubs got to cut the cord this time (that wasn't an option with Bubby due to how early he came/the conditions of his arrival), and they cleaned the baby up and I could hold him for a bit.  The Hubs even got to go with the baby to be admitted into the NICU - so much different this time than with Bubby when he was whisked pretty quickly out of the room.
    I cried when I saw my son. I don't think it matters if it is your first baby or your tenth. There is something miraculous about being given the gift of a child - through whatever means you are blessed to have one - and seeing him for the first time.  The responsibility, the enormity, fragility of it all meshes together in that moment which is just about as sacred as any moment can get.  You know in that moment unconditional love - for this child has done nothing to earn your love and will do nothing to lose your love - you love him just because he exists and just because he is yours.  And you know without a doubt you will do whatever is in your power to do what is best for him.  And in that moment you glimpse the face of God, you hear His heartbeat, and you know just a fraction of the love He has for you.  And you are humbled and amazed and grateful. Incredibly grateful.

    "And from His fullness we have received grace upon grace."  John 1:16 (ESV)

    Saturday, January 8, 2011

    dairy queen no more

    Wink/Bug/Mac2.0 ..whatever we are calling him has been having spit up/poopy (or as my cousin Michelle likes to hear me call it, PO-PO) issues for a week now.  So last night I tried him on soy formula throughout the night and early this morning.  He seems to be doing better with that. 
    But I don't want to have to use soy formula if I can help it because
    a) I nursed Bubby for a year
    b) I believe there are health benefits often times to nursing - for example Bubby has yet to have an ear infection and he hasn't had too many illnesses
    c)nursing is very easy for the middle of the night feeds wants the baby knows what he is doing
    d)formula is expensive
    e)soy formula smells bad

    The research I've done the last day or so says that most babies really aren't lactose intolerant - as that is something people develop later in childhood or young adulthood typically.  However, preemies sometimes do not produce lactase(?) like term babies... it can take awhile to develop.

    for the next few days I am cutting out as much dairy from my diet as I can.  And I LOVE dairy products and foods that feature dairy as their main ingredient.
    But I want to see if cutting it out/greatly reducing it will help the digestive issues of the wee one.  And then after some time I can gradually add it back in to see if he can handle it as he gets older.

    If this doesn't work, I will be talking to the pediatrician and most likely be switching to soy/bottle feeding. :(

    *Side note: Just because I am pro-breastfeeding for me/my babies doesn't mean I think everyone has to do it.


    I don't think the nickname Wink is going to work
    The Hubs calls him Bug quite a bit - as in short for Bug-a-boo, which we have called both boys now.
    To be continued...

    Thursday, January 6, 2011

    january 6 - imperfect prose

    It has been awhile since we've talked.
    Even longer since I just sat and listened.

    So I stopped picking up toys, putting away laundry, checking Facebook...
    I set aside my questions, my worries, my frustrations
    And I just sat.
    With You.

    I did not need to hear Your voice right now.
    I just needed to know Your Presence.

    And for now that is enough.
    You are enough.

    linking once again with Emily and the imperfect prose community

    a quick run to Starbucks

    Bubby is eating his breakfast next to me and Wink (who may be getting a different name) is in his carseat on the kitchen table next to me.  I am going to take five minutes to record this morning's adventure in hopes that someday I will look back on it and laugh...

    Wink decided not to sleep last night. Oh he deceived us by wanting to eat earlier than usual for his bedtime meal and falling sweetly asleep on my chest on the couch.  Then The Hubs and I decided to go to bed. And Wink decided to not go to bed.  I tried everything - binkie (nine million times), putting him on his Boppy in his bed (big no-no if your baby is not on an apnea/heartrate monitor, but we can bend the rules a bit since we have a machine telling us if our baby stops breathing), picking him up, ignoring him (ever so briefly), feeding him again... I think it was almost 2 AM when Wink decided to finally sleep when I put him in bed (ever so carefully) next to me.  Out like a light.  He slept for a few hours.  Then it was diaper time and feeding time again.  And he stayed up after eating - and I knew he was still hungry but he refused to eat - and finally he did eat again, and was back asleep around 7??

    So I decided it was a Starbucks morning.  I have a giftcard I recieved for Christmas from my mother-in-law, and today was the day to use it.  I mentioned this to The Hubs before he left.
    I started getting myself and the boys ready to head out of the door - and by ready I mean throwing on a pair of jeans, shoes, and a shirt and leaving the boys in their pajamas.  Loaded Wink into his infant seat.  Put a jacket on Bubby.  Realized I should start the car - oh wait, The Hubs took the car that has my Christmas gift of an automatic starter in it. Grrr...So I go to the garage to start the ol' Nissan whom I call LouAnn.  I realize the stroller (which does not fit in LouAnn's trunk) is on top of the trunk instead of in the Scion (whom I call Jorge).  So I haul the double stroller into the kitchen after opening the garage a bit and starting the car and praying the fumes don't kill us all.  I put Wink and his monitor on the garage floor, pick up Bubby and then quickly throw him into his seat,  shut the house doorl without bothering to set the alarm, latch Wink into his carseat base, go around and buckle Bubby.  Get in the car where the heat is cranked full blast because LouAnn has had two settings for heat/AC for the last couple of years... FULL blast or COMPLETELY off.

    And we drive to Starbucks for my vanilla latte and in the drive thru someone totally went through the exit driveway to cut me off. 

    But at least I've gotten out of the house today had my coffee AND no one has po-po-ed in the last hour and a half. :)

    Wednesday, January 5, 2011


    Today the boys' naptimes overlapped. Hallelujah!
    Of course Bubby doesn't really nap.  He hangs out in his crib, sometimes "reading," sometimes listening ot music, sometimes protesting, always taking a "po-po" about fifteen minutes into naptime...
    but there is some time for me this afternoon.
    I tackled the laundry I started this morning.
    I cleaned the guest bathroom toilet and mirror.
    I decluttered our dresser.
    I put addresses into a Google doc so that I hopefully do not have to keep asking people for their addresses.
    I blogged.
    I picked up Wink because he got a little fussy on his Boppy, and I feel guilty that he does not get as much snuggle time as Bubby got as an infant.  He sleeps in an odd position on my chest/tummy.  To me it looks a bit uncomfortable, like I would wake up with a terrible cramp in my neck, but the baby seems comfy. He even is "smiling" a bit - gas, I know.
    And the living room has toys EVERYWHERE.  I was going to pick them up before I blogged, but it is rare I have a chance to just write these days uninterrupted.  The toys will be back scattered over the living room when Bubby gets up again anyway.

    Life is good on this Wednesday.

    it's poop again

    The number of children in my house have doubled, but I think the number of poopy diapers have tripled or quadrupled.
    How is that possible?

    my non-resolution resolution

    January. New Year's. The Hubs' birthday. My birthday. Our anniversary. Yes, it is a full month.  And sometimes it feels like a very long month after holiday-madness subsides.
    But this year we didn't have too much holiday madness.  Other madness, yes, but the actual days of celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas - easy-going and fairly low-key.  So January does not feel as much like a hangover this year.  (Or what I imagine a hangover must feel like since I have never had one.)
    On a seemingly unrelated note...
    I had a very vivid dream last night that when I woke up I wondered if it actually happened.  A face-to-face confrontation with someone I highly doubt would ever want to deal with things face to face.  And this person was very rude to me in my dream. And I found myself waking up angry and hurt and frustrated and sad - parallel emotions to what I am feeling in real life regarding this person/situation.  And I wanted to go back to sleep and verbally and physically shake this person until she would change, but one can rarely get back to the dream from which they awoke.
    And I realize now it is a new year.  A time to move on.  It does not mean being okay with what has happened, but it does mean not dwelling on it unless a situation calls for it to be dealt with/discussed again.  I cannot change people, try as I might, but I also get to choose who I associate with, who I trust, who I allow into my life.
    I have no resolutions for the new year.  Too many leftover holiday treats in the cabinets for me to even attempt healthy eating this month.  And I can say that I am going to do such-and-such, but when it doesn't work out or if I fail, the perfectionist in me will get frustrated and either a)beat myself up over it, b)give up or c)all of the above.
    So I am just going to enjoy January. And eat another piece of chocolate

    a nickname for Mac2.0

    I think I have a blog nickname for Mac2.0.
    I'm thinking Wink.  As in Rip Van Winkle.  Since he would (most of the time) rather sleep than eat or do anything else.  I hope giving him such a name doesn't jinx us.  :)
    I wanted to call him Poppy on here because he looks like his Papa (The Hubs' dad) and my papa (my graandfather who died last year), but The Hubs said it sounded too Italian.
    So perhaps Wink.  I will be trying it out for awhile.

    Monday, January 3, 2011

    Multitude Monday #366-378

    I have lots of thoughts and things about which to write.  And I would love to read more blogs.
    But my energy is being spent on more important things.
    For now I will just post my multitude Monday for Ann's community and my own personal record keeping.

    366. baby home from the NICU in time for Christmas
    367. loved ones who pray
    368. loved ones who help
    369. chocolate covered cherry ice cream bars that invaded my freezer
    370. several steps in a row for Bubby - he will be walking completely on his own in no time
    371. The Hubs taking down the Christmas tree and the ornaments
    372. baby sleeping on my chest during nap time today and me being able to nap a bit, too
    373. The Hubs' turning thirty-two
    374. dinners brought by sister-in-law and by friends
    375. Mom's homemade spaghetti sauce ready to go in the freezer
    376. commitment
    377. attempting to knock on new doors of possibility
    378. the way Bubby says "baby," "a-choo" (after anyone sneezes) and "Cheerio" now instead of "sheya sheya"