Thursday, April 29, 2010

What happened

I have many fears about writing about what happened Thursday and the decision I made.  Fears that people will think I am crazy, fears that people will think I wasted a school district's time, fears that people who recommended me for a job will be hurt that I didn't take the job, etc...  It is not my intention to be a jerk or crazy or anything else.  I am not a person who feels like she has the whole relationship-with-God thing down really great these days.  My walk has been improving in the last couple of months, but it is nowhere near where it should be.  So I hope this does not come across holier-than-thou or super-spiritual because I am not either of those things.

I woke up Thursday knowing I would be making some sort of job decision.  I had been offered a job the week before at District A, and the principal there had been gracious enough to give me the time to finish up my interview process with District B so that I could make the best decision for our family.  Each district had its pros and cons, which I won’t take the time to write about here because it isn’t that important.  The one thing I will say for District A is it is where my teacher-friends are, it is familiar, and the boss I would have next year I had only heard good things about.  Anyhoo...

I went to my second interview with B.  I had to teach a lesson, and I know I did well. (The GLE I was given was rather boring, but I did what I could with it.)  The interview after the lesson went well, and throughout the process district B expressed a lot of interest in hiring me.  After the interview they told me they would let me know today or tomorrow as they had a few more interviews that day.  I went home, going over everything in my head – trying to make a decision about telling A yes.  I discussed with my husband for the millionth time.  Still struggling to make a decision, I decide to try to lay down and get the baby to take a nap.  Neither of us did.

While I was attempting to rest, I heard something speak to me – not outloud, but to my gut/spirit.  I felt like God was telling me, “Take a risk.  Tell A no.  Things might not turn out the way you want/plan, but I need you to trust Me, and take a risk and say no.”  So of course I have a conversation in my head with God, “But God, I will look really stupid to this, especially if the other job tells me no.”  To which I felt God say, “Don’t worry about looking stupid.  I want you to trust Me.”

Well those of you who know me well know how great I am at trusting (insert sarcastic tone here).  I want my life planned out and to know all the possible results of all my possible decisions, and doing this would give me none of those things.  Nervously, I went and talked about what I was feeling to my husband, who very much encouraged me to do what God was impressing me to do, even though on paper it made absolutely no sense at all.

So I called District A to tell them that although I appreciated everything everyone there had done for me, I could not accept the job.  I did not have a peace about it.  No sooner do I start making this phone call than does Dear Hubby get a phone call.  An out of the blue phone call from a job he applied for last fall. A job we never heard any more about, so we thought that door had closed, and honestly we moved on and pretty much forgot about that job.  They want to do a phone interview with him in two weeks.  When he told me about the call, I got chills because the timing of it was so bizarre.  I’m not saying this job will work out for us or anything, just the timing of the call was weird.  Anyhoo...

Very shortly after that I heard from District B.  They told me, “not at this time,” which of course was a little upsetting.  It is not fun to be rejected, even just moments before when you felt that God was telling you to trust Him to take care of you.  And I know that He will.  Like I said earlier, nothing on paper makes sense.  An outside of observer would probably point out things I could have/should have done, but I know with 100% certainty I was called to trust God and do something seemingly-crazy.

So I did.  And that is not at all how I expected the day to go when I woke up.

one thing I forgot to post

This is not the post many of you are probably wanting - the details of what transpired today.  I still can't quite articulate it the way I would like to, but I will soon.  Perhaps if I get a good night sleep last night because our teething baby was up at 11, 11:45, 3:30, and 5:45 - and I had to be up and getting ready early today.  Anyhoo...

We heard from First Steps.  Buddy qualifies for getting some help getting caught up with his peers.  We have an IFP meeting (think IEP meeting, educators) in a couple of weeks.  I am interested to know what the assessments show, and I am hopeful we will get the help/education we need to help our little guy here at home.

head is spinning

So much has happened in the last sixty minutes - from hearing God tell me to step out on faith and take a risk - to attempting to do that (and will still do that when opportunity presents itself) - to having a completely out of the blue opportunity  happen for my husband literally during the moment  I was stepping out on faith - to then about thirty minutes later having a door shut for me at this time - to questioning if I still take a risk - to realizing (or attempting to still realize) that what God has told me to do isn't dependent on that door.  And all the while wondering what in the world I am doing and feeling sad and confused and anxious and excited all at the same time.

I know this is completely vague, and I will be specific in a day or two.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Physical Therapy

The physical therapist came this morning.  She was here about an hour and a half.  She assessed all five domains - physical, cognitive, social/emotional, verbal, and adaptive behaviors.  Of course she didn't tell me her final assessment today. She has to look over the paperwork, add up the scores and such.  It was a very interesting process, and of course the nerdy-educator in me enjoyed hearing what she had to say/explain.  This assessment will also be combined with Buddy's medical history/NICU history and other things to see if he needs/qualifies for any additional help.  The gist of what I got today (of course this is not official):

  • verbal - very good

  • cognitive & adaptive -nothing really mentioned either way

  • social/emotional - a smidge behind

  • physical - behind


The therapist talked about the importance of crawling (which he doesn't have to be doing quite yet with his adjusted age {means premature age not calendar age} but should be working on soon).  I learned how important crawling is to the brain development because of the right/left brain research.  I knew about the right/left crossovers with teaching older children, but I didn't even think of it with my own little guy.  Crawling helps his brain make connections because his right hand moves with his left foot and vice versa.  Crawling also helps his core muscles in his back develop, and it is important for arm muscle strength. This is the only "natural" time in our lives we really work on upper body/arm muscles - crawling.  These muscles/skills will be important for balance development and such.  Putting weight on his hands will also play a role in later handwriting and cutting skills. The therapist also talked about Buddy being able to cross the midline for other developmental skills.  It really was interesting to me, but of course I'm a nerd, and I love learning this type of stuff.  It made me reflect on some students I had with motor skill/coordination issues, and I stopped to wonder if they had any issues in early childhood.  But I digress...

The therapist reiterated how important tummy time is.  We do tummy time several times a day, but she gave me some ideas on how to make that time more productive/beneficial. She also gave me some advice on helping Buddy get used to standing on his feet so that we can begin really working on him putting his weight on his legs.  The therapist said two of her own children were preemies, so that made me feel so much better.  She also was really positive about the fact that Buddy is still nursing, and encouraged me to not feel like I have to rush the weaning process just because he is turning one soon - waiting until August is just fine.

Buddy was a little grouchy today because he is teething, but when he wasn't on his belly or attempting to take papers or a computer that were the therapists, he was a sweet baby throughout the process.  I am so proud of how he is doing verbally and with his fine motor-skills. He did a great job picking up his Cheerios with a thumb/finger instead of his whole hand, so his "pincher-skills" are emerging. :)  He babbled and interacted with the therapist and showed off how well he was doing in that area.

He is such a joy, and I love him with all of my heart.  It really doesn't matter what the test shows or what the charts say.  He is perfect to me, just the way he is.

Put a fork in me.

I have realized that I probably should go back to having a blog that family and friends do not read.  Because sometimes I just need to vent to the world and perfect strangers and not have people I know know my business.  And let me tell you, today I could write a book with all the thoughts going through my head.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

a little bit of politics

When did it become okay in America to allow everyone to have their own opinion... unless they are conservative? I don't mind anyone who has a liberal opinion or a moderate opinion - in fact I favor that compared to someone who is ignorant of politics or has no opinion. I just get frustrated that my opinions as a conservative (not Republican - I am more Constitutionalist/somewhat Libertarian, I think) get poopooed. And strangely enough it is by some of my Christian acquaintances that I get the most crap about it. Sorry, just frustrated.
I love reading my liberal friends opinions and thoughts and beliefs. They challenge me and stretch me and make me think why I believe what I believe and if I should. And I hope I do the same for them. So if you are one of my liberal friends reading this, I am probably not venting about you.
End rant.

Highlights and Lowlights


  • We may have someone interested in looking at our house, according to our real estate agent. Our house may be out of their price range, though. Yes, you read that right. FIngers crossed that they at least come look at it and like it and make us an offer.

  • The Parents as Teachers educator came today, and Buddy has picked up some skills since her last visit.  I think she also implied that I may be a bit of a "helicopter" parent because I don't let him problem solve enough. I  sort of see her point, but seriously, he is not even a year old.  I do not feel I am "hovering" that much.

  • The physical therapist comes tomorrow to evaluate Buddy's gross motor skills (and maybe other things, too?).  He still isn't really putting weight on his legs.  His fine motor skills I think are really good, and like my side of the family, he is pretty verbal.

  • Thursday I hope to know what I am doing job-wise next year.  I have a second interview, and hopefully they will either tell me yay or nay right then and there so I can tell them yay or nay and tell someone else yay or nay.  Still trying to sort out what is best for us next year.

  • So it's just a wee bit stressful around here.  And we were on a "no fast food" and "try not to eat terrible things for us" kick, but I caved under the stress today, pulled out my handy dandy Sonic giftcard and had a bacon cheeseburger, fries, and a vanilla Dr. Pepper.  The only thing that could have improved that binge would have been a piece of chocolate cake!  :)  I have no willpower when I am stressed.

Monday, April 26, 2010

I hope I win

Mother's Day 2010

Multitude Monday

I saw this idea on 29lincolnavenue's blog of writing each Monday of what you are thankful about that day/week.

1. A little boy playing contentedly with his shape-blocks so I can check my email/blog.

2. A husband trying to win a local radio station's scavenger hunt contest again this year.

3. Actually getting a long Sunday afternoon nap yesterday.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

March Of Dimes Walk - less than two weeks

Here's our boy modeling his new "March of Dimes" shirt he gets to wear for our walk in less than two weeks.
"I was a preemie...Look at me now!"





sounds

Buddy boy is becoming quite the chatterbox.  I think his most talkative moments are in the morning.  These are the sounds he can say so far:

  • dadadadad

  • ba/buh

  • uh-gee (soft g sound there)

  • dis or dee

  • ooh

  • /t/

  • va

  • /p/

  • There are probably others I can't think of.


Most of the time he says dadada or daa with another syllable/sound.

Notice one important sound still hasn't made it to the list.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Nerd Alert

I am such a nerd. I spent my Friday evening reading a book about a literacy structure, and spent a chuck of this morning reading the corresponding book. In my defense, it has been rainy, but why not snuggle up with a novel? Instead I read "The Daily Five" and am now wrapping up "The CAFE book." Sooo goood! A lot of things I have done, but not they way these women structured their classroom and assessment. I wish I had read these books a few years ago. They would have made my literacy block much easier to manage. I am hoping to use a lot of the concepts next year. Although The Daily Five seemed more primary focused (there is an intermediate edition apparently), I think I can just adapt what I learned from this book and the other.
As sad as I am to not be a stay-at-home-mom next year, I get enthusiastic when I read books about curriculum structures and strategies. Yes, I am a nerd.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Friday Fill-In

I saw this online this morning, and since Buddy is sleeping late this morning, I thought I'd do it.

1. Where are my keys?
2. If wishes were horses they would run away. (I have no idea what this fill-in means.)
3. I'd like to see my son grow up happy, healthy, and serving the Lord.
4. When I was a teen, I thought George Clooney and Ben Affleck were hot.
5. One of my mother's favorite sayings was, "Was it worth it?"
6. I'd have a hard time doing without my faith.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to watching Lawrence of Arabia, tomorrow my plans include starting my day with a caramel latte and a death-by-chocolate muffin, and Sunday, I want to get back to Sunday school class - it feels like I haven't been there in awhile.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

do-over

So I did not "rock" the interview today, at least not all of it.  There were a couple of questions that halfway through my answer I thought, "I sound like a flippin' idiot."  Some questions I felt good about, but there were moments today when I just wanted to stop, rewind and give a better answer.

Auntie Missa was kind enough to watch Buddy boy while I was interviewing today.  I was able to see a couple of friends before the interview, and I think Buddy got to see a few more people than I did.  It made me realize how much I miss seeing some people on a regular basis.

Now I have some more waiting and praying to do.  We are asking God for a sign.  We don't know if He will give us one, but we have asked for a specific one anyway.  I figured it couldn't hurt.

20 minutes is not a nap

So Buddy boy has been doing pretty decent at getting at least one good nap in a day - sometimes I am lucky enough to get two.  He was cranky this morning, so I put him down.  He stayed asleep for 20 minutes.  He is cranky right now.  His diaper is clean, he has been fed, he just needs to go back to sleep.  I'm sure it is partly teething related as I think both top ones are coming in (I can see/feel one for sure).  But this morning I really need him to sleep so that a) he gets rid of his crankiness and b)I can do some serious thinking/praying about potential decisions that have to be made soon.

Say a prayer for me today please.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

wordless wednesday

Buddy and photobooth

James 1:5

Wisdom (from Webster's Dictionary)
"1 a : accumulated philosophic or scientific learning : knowledge b : ability to discern inner qualities and relationships : insight c : good sense : judgment d : generally accepted belief
2 : a wise attitude, belief, or course of action
3 : the teachings of the ancient wise men"

James 1:5

If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of the giving God [Who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him. (Amplified)

If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open. (The Message vs. 5-8)

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. (NLT)

I am doing my best to believe that I will be given godly wisdom in the next week or so.  Pro and con lists are helpful, but they are not enough.  Maybe the lesson I am supposed to be learning this month is to quiet myself, ask, and wait.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

God loves pancakes

When Hubby was living in England, he had a friend from South Africa who often said, "God loves pancakes." I am not sure what that means exactly, but I am guessing it just means "Life is good, God is good."

Here are some pictures of Buddy eating his first pancake ever, made with love by Dada.  There also some other random pictures first.

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Monday, April 19, 2010

I think I rocked it

So I am pretty sure my interview went really well today.  I think there may be a part two of the interview at this location. Fingers are crossed.  Vague-enough? Sorry.  Thanks to those of you who prayed for me this afternoon.

And I have a million questions in my head.  If given the chance/the choice - go somewhere new or go somewhere familiar?  Each has its positives and negatives - mostly positives for each.  But who knows if I will be given the chance to make any sort of choice.

Yet with all this happiness of my interview-adrenaline, there is a sadness that the opportunity my dear husband wanted to happen for him/for our family may not happen.  And there is a sadness for me, too, because although I love teaching, I also love staying at home with Buddy.  So many thoughts rolling through my head.  I am so thankful for all of the amazing people I know praying for us, pulling for us, and cheering us on each in their own way.  Waiting to see which doors open and which doors close, and doing my best to trust that everything will work out the way it is supposed to work out.

March of Dimes

I am walking for March of Dimes in a couple of weeks (May 8th ) with friends from where I used to teach.  One of my dearest friends organized a team in honor of Buddy and two other preemie babies of another friend of ours.  If you want information on how to sponsor my walk, and I know you in "real life," let me know, and I will send you the link.  It is also on my facebook page.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

shopping post-pregnancy

Today we went to the mall so I could find an outfit for my upcoming interview because as I discovered last week thirty minutes before church directory pictures...I have nothing that fits, other than some jeans I bought this fall/winter and sweatpants.  I am thinking neither of those options work for an interview.  At least not in my line of work.

So I had a Macy's giftcard with some money left on it thanks to my Christmas and birthday gifts from my father-in-law, and they were having a sale.  Buddy boy fell asleep on the ride to the mall, so Hubby stayed in the car with him while I pulled everything in my price range (or slightly above) off the rack and into the dressing room.  Sidenote: I HATE trying clothes on. From age 20-27ish I rarely tried on clothes because I had been the same size more or less, or when I gained weight I just knew to go up a size in my current style.  End sidenote.  So I tried on a million possibilities to come away with two outfits that might work.  I purchased both knowing that I will be taking one back once I could see it in real light (aka not hideous dressing room light with mirrors that make you doubt you did anything with your appearance before heading to the mall).

I realized a few things in my shopping experience today

  1. I will not be purchasing a bathing suit this season.  I saw myself in a pants suit, and it wasn't pretty.  I fear what things would look like with less material covering my bod.

  2. Shoulder pads are apparently back in style.  I use the phrase "in style" loosely.  I hated them in the 80's, and my opinion hasn't changed.  I will be cutting them out of whatever outfit I end up keeping.

  3. I need a pair of cute black dress shoes.  I have no cute shoes any more.  So I hope the shoe-fairy visits me tonight or tomorrow.

  4. I detest people who wear the size I used to wear.  I know that sounds hypocritical, but that is how it is.  I detest them if they do not work out and eat horribly, and I detest them if they are disciplined enough to work out and eat right.  Either way, it is a lose/lose situation for you if you are skinnny. :)

  5. It is a lie that if you breastfeed you lose weight quicker. Buddy boy refuses to take a bottle and he isn't coordinated enough to use a sippy cup regularly, so you would think after all of these months I wouldn't even have to think about calling Jillian Michaels for some help. Not true!


These are my thoughts after my mall experience today.  I will not be going back anytime soon.  Except to return one of my outfits, and maybe for an Aunt Annie's pretzel! :)

EDIT:  I hope everyone knows I am not really mad or detesting people.  Just slightly jealous. :)

The Ultimate Blog Party – After Party

The Ultimate Blog Party was a lot of fun.  I found many great new blogs to read - some of people like me, and some of people very different from me.  I found about a dozen that stood  out, but these are the first three that came to my mind:

sandwichedThe story of how she became sandwiched made me laugh, yet feel her pain!

superchikk"saving the world one lost sock at a time" - I can very much relate!

littlewhitefence

Though I've only read a few entries (because that is all I have had time for right now), it seems we have some things in common.

I have more to write about, but I need to get going on my Saturday morning with my family.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Isaiah 30:21

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, you will hear a voice saying to you, "This is the way; walk in it."

This was our floor verse in college.  It was painted in the middle  section of our floor.  I probably walked by it a million times.    I haven't thought about it in awhile, but it came to mind tonight.

I never really noticed the first part. I always put emphasis on the last "This is the way" part.  But maybe the emphasis is supposed to be on the first "Whether you turn.... you will hear..."  Perhaps it means if a person is following God there are times in his/her life where either path that person takes will be okay with God.  The main concern will be that he/she is walking with Him.  The walking by faith is more important than the location/destination.

Of course I have not consulted any commentaries or the Hebrew or anything, so I hope I am not way off base with my thoughts here.

teething on the horizon

I think I see where two of Buddy's top teeth are going to be cutting through in the near future.  This is not good news for me.
But what is good news for me is... I have an interview next week!  It is not at the district I worked for before Buddy was born, and that is all I am comfortable sharing at this point.

optimism from a realist?

I am starting to feel like things in my life are maybe coming together a little bit.  No, we still don't have answers about Hubby's schooling next year.  This is the week we should know.  No, we still haven't had any prospects on someone buying our house.  No, I still haven't had any interviews for a job next year (though I did hear from one principal that he would be looking at the paperwork early next week).  Am I disappointed about these things? Yes.  Am I worried about these things?  Strangely, not really.

That is definitely not my personality.  I am a planner, I am a worrier, and I am a realist.  (I think pessimist is too strong. I don't think everything will turn out bad, but I don't always think everything will turn out good either!)  So why this somewhat new optimistic perspective?  Honestly, I think it is because my time in the Word has been so much better lately.  For the last month or so, I have been making my way through a Beth Moore study with a few other ladies from various churches.  It is exactly what I needed.  If you have never done a Beth Moore study, I highly recommend the one I am currently doing - Daniel.  Anyhoo - I also picked up One Month to Live from the library.  The subtitle is "Thirty Days to a No-Regrets Life."  That is what I want.  I am only on Day Two.  We shall see.

News on the baby boy?  The physical therapist is scheduled to come at the end of the month to assess.  Today I actually saw him roll from back to front - in pursuit of a toy I gently took away from him just to see if he would roll.  He is sitting up really well by himself these days - hardly tipping over at all anymore.  He is napping right now.  He had a night where he slept until 5:30 I think last week.  That hasn't happened again.  He had been making it till about 4 for a few nights, but lately he is back up at 2ish again and then 4:30.  :(  Oh well.  Someday I will get a full night of sleep again.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Ultimate Blog Party

Ultimate Blog Party 2010

I read about this awhile ago, and honestly, I forgot about it until today.  I hope it is not too late to join the party.

Who am I?



A current stay at home mom for an adorable ten-month old boy who grace us with his presence TEN WEEKS EARLY last summer!  I call him Buddy on this site for privacy reasons, but he actually has a pretty awesome, original name, if I do say so myself. Wish I could tell you what it is. :)

[caption id="attachment_1125" align="aligncenter" width="200" caption="halfway through our NICU journey"][/caption]

A wife to a hard-working husband who is in the behavioral health field.  We met online in 2004, got engaged that fall, and eloped in January of 2005. And we had only spent a couple of weeks together in person. The rest of our dating was VERY long distance. This is our first year of marriage where neither of us have been furthering our education. Of course, having a baby is a new kind of education.

[caption id="attachment_1127" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="my two favorite guys"][/caption]


A former fourth grade teacher who most likely will be going back to work next year, if I can find a teaching job in this economy.

A not-so-great housekeeper, a don't-mind-a-little-dog-fur-on-the couch, a-like-to-cook-and-bake-but-it-doesn't-always-turn-out, a-read-seven-books-at-the-same-time, a-should-be-writing-the-next-great-American-novel-instead-of-facebooking type of gal.

Welcome to my blog if you are new today!

Prizes I would like to win:

  • INTL2

  • US49 - I love coffee!

  • US71 - to make a bear for Buddy

  • US84 - to spend on pictures

  • US18, US32, US 36, uS40, or anything else is good, too!


Have a great day!

more (wait for it...) waiting

Yesterday was just paperwork.  Basically it was the legal stuff of our rights.  I should have realized that was what it was going to be from the various IEP meetings/staffings/etc.  I have attended as a teacher.  It's not called an IEP for early childhood - IFSP or something.  So now we are waiting for the physical therapist to call and set up a time to come and assess Buddy's skills.  Luckily there is a time limit for them to get this assessment done for them to be in compliance.  So we wait.  We are pretty good at that.

I am actually learning to begin enjoying (or at least pleasantly tolerating) all the waiting.  Examples?

  • Buddy might have all of these skills start to click and therefore end up not needing assistance.

  • I have the chance to continue really praying about where/how God wants me to be working next year as I wait to hear about openings, school budgets, and interviews.  My decision hasn't been rushed.

  • As we wait for our house to sell, it gives us more time to figure out where we will need to move once we do sell. (See previous bullet).

  • I am learning more about God, His timing, and His care for me.

  • I am able to empathize with others who are in a waiting phase.

  • I think I will be ecstatic when we finally get answers to our questions - no matter what those answers end up being!

Monday, April 12, 2010

first steps intake

This afternoon someone from First Steps is going to come do an intake.  This is the beginning of the process to see if Buddy will qualify for some help with his development.  Up until this point he hasn't qualified, but his gross motor skills are lagging behind where they should be even for his adjusted age.

It is different being on this end of things.  I am used to being the teacher, one of the people in an IEP meeting or a parent-teacher conference informing a parent that their child may need some extra help.  My biggest fear is that he will fall in some sort of gap (figurative, not literal gap), and he will not be far enough behind to qualify, yet be behind enough to cause a problem.  I have seen it happen in school.  So let's hope he either really doesn't need any extra help - just some more time and practice with us - or he qualifies to get caught up with his age group!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

rollin', rollin', rollin'

Buddy Boy rolled from back to front today. FINALLY.  We thought he never would.  Of course, neither Hubby or I saw it in action because it was shortly before the open house today.  But I know that he rolled because when I left him with his Taggie-ball, he was playing with it on his back.  A couple minutes later I walked by his room and he was on his tummy in the "someday soon I may crawl" position. And he was smiling instead of being upset that he rolled.  I went crazy congratulating him, telling him how proud I was of him - as if he had just hit a home run in the world series or something.  But to me it was just as good.  That is how much I love that little guy!

This child refused to roll that way again while we were watching, but that is okay.  Perhaps he will tomorrow.

Open House

The good:Our house looks lovely.  Absolutely lovely.  If I do say so myself.

The bad: No one came to our open house.

The ugly: It seems no one wants to use their "Obama-money" (as my husband calls it) to buy our house which is a great "first time home buyer" house.  Once again it seems our president hasn't done anything to help me.

The best: God knows my frustrations and concerns, and He can handle them.  Hoping He has something wonderful in mind for us.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

a lot of yard work, a little theology

My husband did tons of work in the yard and around the house today.  He even warned me to get back in the house when he thought he saw a snake outside.  I do not like snakes.

And speaking of snakes - - - I have come to the conclusion that yard work is of the devil.  Seriously.    I used to think that Eve's punishment was worse than Adam's.  Now I think we got the better end of the deal.  I would give birth every year if that meant I never had to weed a garden or plant anything.  Of course, I did give birth to a three-pound baby, so if I have a full-term one next time, my opinion might change. :)

Hoping we have a good turn out for our first open house tomorrow.  I have to say our house looks very lovely these days.  I would buy it if I was looking for a first house.  :)

Psalm 130:7

Read this in the Beth Moore study today, and it warmed my heart and gave me a gentle reminder.

"O Amanda, put your hope in the Lord,
for with the Lord is unfailing love
and with Him is full redemption."

Thursday, April 8, 2010

library online

I love that I can "order" books online through our library system.  I have six books on hold - waiting for others to get done reading and then return the books so I can read them.  There is one that was actually there at the library, so I hope to go get it today or tomorrow.  And the best part is - I can pick it up at a drive-thru window.  This is very convenient for me as a mommy to not have to get out of the car to browse for and check-out books.  I can browse from the comfort of my own living room.

I will need to pay $1.70 in fines when I go get my books, but I believe this may be the smallest library fine I have ever owed.  I'm sure my hometown library got much of their funding for their new building from the fine money I gave them as a child/teenager.  I am not any better as an adult.  Sometimes it is cheaper for me to actually buy the book. :)

Will this jinx it?

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

spoke too soon

No naps today.

We've tried the crib (a few times throughout the day), car rides, and even laying down next to me.

Boy is he cranky right now.

Remind me not to blog about sleep again.  Everytime I do, I jinx things.

sleep stuff

I wrote about how Buddy napped yesterday  - stayed asleep when I carried him to his crib - and  he ended up napping in his own crib for over an hour!

Last night he ate and then got sleepy around 7:15-7:30.  I put him in his crib.  He stirred in there a few minutes but did not cry.  He woke up and did some fussing (not really crying) around 9:30, but he put himself back to sleep.  Fussed some time in the middle of the night for a few minutes I think in the 1:00 range.  A bit before 3:00 he cried for a few minutes so I got up to feed him.  Put him back in his crib after feeding (usually he stays in our bed at that point because it is just easier), he fussed for maybe a minute or two and went back to sleep.  He woke up at his usual 6ish AM.

I am hopeful that sleeping through the night isn't too many more weeks/months away.

Monday, April 5, 2010

open house

We are having an open house this Sunday.  Please pray:

  • That we can get the last minute things we need done accomplished

  • For good weather so people feel like coming out to look

  • For lots of people to come and look

  • For there to be a buyer (or more than one buyer) in the bunch who will make us an offer


We are still waiting one more week for the answer on the wait-list situation for the school in Oklahoma.  Pray for us as we wait and get an answer on that one way or another.  Pray for job transitions for potentially both of us.  Wisdom, patience, perseverance, joy, and grace are things we would like to currently exhibit.

rare occurrence

Buddy boy is napping.  In his crib.  Now technically he fell asleep on my lap, BUT when I transferred him to his crib he stayed asleep.  This is progress.

And I don't know what to do with myself because already today:

  • the dishwasher is unloaded/loaded

  • the main rooms are dusted and vacuumed

  • closet is purgeed of most of our winter stuff

  • laundry has final load in the dryer

  • quiet time has been completed


I do need to clean the bathrooms, but everytime I clean a bathroom when Buddy is napping he wakes up. I do not want to jinx anything.  Perhaps I will read a book.  That would be a rare treat.  Now what to read?

note of hope

I found a note in one of my Bibles today.  It is from over a year and a half ago.  The summer I had my miscarriage a staff member at the university where I had attended both my undergrad and graduate programs  found out about my loss.  She called me on the phone and also sent me the note that I reread today.  One part of the note read, "Hold fast to His unchanging hand... and know His love for you is more than you can ever imagine."  I barely knew this person, but it was such a blessing to know she, among so many other people, cared and were praying for me.

We just celebrated Easter, a day which reminds me of the hope I have in Christ.  This hope is not based upon anything I can do rather than trust.  Trust that His gift is enough to save me.  Trust that His power is enough to sustain me.  I do not trust in Him because the Church is so wonderful. Honestly, I find several "Christians" annoying and things done in the name of Christianity that I doubt Christ would approve of, let alone endorse.

I trust Jesus because I know what He has done for me.  He loves me even at my worst moments.  Moments that if I was brave enough to write about on this blog some of you would be shocked and appalled.  Thankfully, He is neither of those things.  He has not made my life easier, but He has made it more bearable because I know that situations that seem like the end here on earth are not the end.  I trust Him because although I can find sevearl examples of why I do not want to be identified with church-goers, I can also find several examples of why I want to be like other people of Jesus-faith.  This note reminded me of that.  Not only because some almost stranger cared about me just because of her faith, but because it was a reminder that He is trustworthy.

His love for us IS more than we can ever imagine.  I hope I can remember that in every situation I face.

more spring pictures

More pictures because frankly I think my kid is stinkin' cute.  And most of our family members live out of state, so this helps them see Buddy on a regular basis.

sitting up like a big boy


total teacher's kid


at the park


opening day for Cardinals' baseball


I think Papa would love this picture

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Easter pictures

I have decided that it is good to be the first born.  Buddy is the first grandbaby, great-grandbaby, and nephew on my side.  We didn't buy him any Christmas presents (our trip out west was his gift, we say), and we didn't have to buy him any Easter things.  Baskets, stuffed animals, and outfits - we are thankful for the gifts that gave our little guy a great first Easter.  Of course the holiday is not about the gifts, but I did want to say thanks again!

[caption id="attachment_1073" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="some of my Easter gifts"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1074" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="grouchy face"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1075" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="still not enjoying getting Easter pictures taken"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1076" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="semi-smile"][/caption]

Saturday, April 3, 2010

camera

Buddy says he would like a fancy-smancy camera for his first birthday.  Something digital and beyond point-and-shoot.  He is willing to wait untl Christmas or Mommy's birthday because he realizes this is an expensive wish list.  He would like to remind his family members this would be an investment because they would receive even more, even higher quality pictures of his adorableness.

Buddy also realizes that typing this on the blog may lead to people thinking, "Well if his mommy got a real job she could purchase such a camera for him herself."  But Buddy thought he would at least put this out there.  :)

Friday, April 2, 2010

smilebox creation

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10 month pictures

[caption id="attachment_897" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="ten months old"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_898" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="catching up to my doggie"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_899" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="best friends"][/caption]

Thursday, April 1, 2010

anxiety

"Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you."

We were able to borrow the Andy Stanley iMarriage dvd since we missed half the series due to weather, travel, and prior commitments.  I wish I would have heard this series a few years ago; it probably would have saved me a lot of stress and tears and frustration with myself, my faith, and my marriage.  I have so many thoughts bouncing around in my head from what we watched tonight, but that verse is what I needed to hear.  Andy broke it down more or less like this:

Cast - throw, unload, dump

all - A - L - L - everything, big, small, silly, embarrassing, etc.

your cares - anxiety, worry, stress, fears, desires

on Him - Jesus

because He cares for you - you are of great concern to Him; He cares deeply about you and what is on your heart

sitting up

So we have been working with Buddy on sitting up independently.  He is getting better and better at it.  Today he sat by himself for several minutes before toppling over.  A couple of more days, and I think he will have it!  Took picture and video of it with my phone (since that was handy and the other cameras were not in the same room), but I have no idea how to upload it on to here.  I guess I will have to read the manual.  Yuck!

10 months

The nurse ended up coming today.  Buddy s his shots like a trooper.  Cried after each one, but not very long.  He is 19 lbs even.  She measured him 31 inches, byt her measuring isn't very accurate, so I will try later.  I need to take a 10 month picture (a couple days late), so hopefully that will be posted soon.

Well, I can't type anymore.  My tech-savy baby is attempting to type with his feet.