Sunday, February 28, 2010

And so we wait.

So Hubby got a phone call saying "No" from school #2.  He is an alternate for school #1 - but no details were given as far as chances, how soon he could know, etc.

And so we wait.

Sometimes I wonder if we are missing something.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

A letter...

Dear neighbors not too far down the road,

Please clean up your trash.  All of it.  The trash overflowing from your trashcans that I do not think are ever picked up by a garbage truck. The trash that accumulates in your yard.  The random furniture- if you can call it that- that decorates your lawn and porch.  Much of your trash flies into our yard even though we do not keep our trashcan outside our home except on trash day, and even then, our lid stays closed.  Once we sell our house you may return to your trashy ways.  Until then please keep your trash inside your home and your furniture ,too.

I do not think that is too much to ask, but apparently our city does since they have yet to respond to our complaint about you. Please take some personal responsibility and have a smidgen of a personal work ethic and respect for the rest of your neighbors.

Sincerely,

One of your neighbors down the road

Friday, February 26, 2010

Matthew 6

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." Matthew 6:31-33 NLT


Today during Buddy's morning nap, I did not rest. I did not work.  I wondered.  Or more accurately, I worried.  Questions filled my head about the upcoming months.  Should I go back to teaching next school year?  Should I submit my paperwork for my principal licensure - all I have to do is submit it - and then should I apply for an administration job?  Should I work on different certification - like ESL or secondary ed?  Should I do something completely different?  Should I continue to stay home with Buddy?  I received no answers.  And then more questions filled my head - what if Dear Husband doesn't end up going back to school?  What if he does?  What should we do? Questions, questions, questions, and absolutely no answers.

I worry that we won't be able to give our kid(s) every opportunity on one income.  I worry that they will not turn out right if I go back to work OR if I don't go back to work!

The theme here is worry.  And it didn't do me a bit of good.  No answers. No plan.  No road map.  Just an hour where I accomplished nothing - not even a nap for me!  Blast!

And then God reminded me that He is in control and He provides.  No, He did not give me an answer to my questions.  He did reveal - through our online banking - that our tax returns were deposited, and now we have paid off all of our hospital bills thanks to our tax return! Yay!  Then when we get our Urgent Care bill from a few weeks ago, our Home Health Care bills and Synagis bills from Jan, Feb, and Mar. there should be enough with the rest of the return to cover a good chunk of that.  We are almost medical debt free.  Then we will just have Hubby's small student loan and our mortgage for debt.  Dave Ramsey would be proud, right?

Lesson I am learning -  I do not need to make any decisions out of fear.  I know I will need to be reminded of this time and time again because I am a professional wonderer....worrier.

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."  Matthew 6:34 The Message

Thursday, February 25, 2010

to pass the time

A couple of semi-recent pictures[gallery order="DESC"]

catching up

I am currently in the process of editing the posts I've imported from our old blog to this new one.  It is a little tedious deleting the baby's name and putting Buddy in its place.  I think I am about halfway done - or more!

We continue to be in a holding pattern as far as our future is concerned.  Hubby is waiting to hear from school #2.  School #1 has him on the alternate list for their program.  We keep praying, "If there is something else we are supposed to be doing, somewhere else we are supposed to be living, would You show us?"  I think we are both willing to do whatever He asks of us, we just would like to know what that is.  So for now, our place is here in this waiting room.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

not so great expectations

Today we started a new Andy Stanley series in Sunday School called i-marriage.  The first session was about what desires, hopes, dreams, and visions we had for marriage back in our pre-marriage days, and how they can become expectations once we are married.  There was a whole lot of great things on this today, but I cannot express them that well now. The lesson did give me a lot to think about.  What unfair or unrealistic expectations did I bring to marriage?

  • We would have money - especially after we were done with hubby's college and both of our graduate programs.

  • We would always have a plan for the future.  Preferably a pretty detailed plan.  And that plan would go according to plan. :)

  • Marriage would be fairly easy because we both knew we wanted our marriage to be different than our families of origin.

  • Communication would be as easy and as rewarding as it was while we were long-distance dating.

  • We would have lots of "couple" friends and socialize on a fairly regular basis.

  • Holidays would be celebrated the way I envisioned them/celebrated them.

  • There would be more fun days than regular, mundane days or even difficult days.


I'm sure I have more expectations that I brought with me to marriage, but these are the first that came to mind and the ones I felt comfortable enough to write about for all the world to see.  I am looking forward to the next five weeks so I can learn what I am should do to take the focus off of me and my expectations.  Tough stuff to contemplate today, but I think it is pretty timely.

You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out

[caption id="attachment_53" align="aligncenter" width="491" caption="Putting his foot in his mouth"][/caption]

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Dada?

Buddy and I are back home after a week with my family in my hometown.  As always, I ate a ton of mandatory hometown food.  I am pretty sure I hit all of my favorite spots for pizza, tacos, soup, ice cream, onion rings, and coffee.  We were also blessed to be loaded up with diapers, baby wipes, and baby food.  Thanks family!

The second tooth is about halfway out into the open.  Buddy keeps touching his new teeth with his fingers, thumb, and tongue.  He is babbling a lot these days and getting better at mimicking.  He even practiced saying, "byebye" to my grandmother the other night.  Doesn't quite have the right vowel sounds, but he has the syllables and the intonation.  When we got back home today, he was saying "dada" like crazy to my dear husband.  We are pretty sure he is using it correctly at this point, but we are new at this parenting thing, so we aren't sure. Buddy will get his attention and then say "dada."  When he is just babbling it, the "dadadadaa" goes on and on.

Does that seem like he has said his first word?  Since I am a perfectionist, I don't want to write this in his baby book if it isn't truly his first word.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Love Wash Over a Multitude of Things

The word reconciliation has always left a funny taste in my mouth when I have said it.  Most likely  because I never really believed it would be possible unless I sacrificed my beliefs, my standards, myself.  Where does grace begin and boundaries end?  How much does one avoid being a doormat and how much does one apply, "as far as it depends on you live at peace..."?  It isn't that I haven't prayed and hoped for peace in my family; I just didn't think it would happen.  Oh me of little faith.

Reconciliation has not been a one time event; it has been a process, a journey.  The bittersweet thing is I think the first leg of the journey began with my miscarriage.  The next step came with my dealing with that grief.  Then came my next pregnancy.  A bridge was crossed when Buddy was born so early, and my family rushed down to be with us during that time.  As a new life came into all of our lives, it was as if we each all realized the need for a fresh start of our own.  Apologies were made, forgiveness was given, grace abounded.

This week at home a conversation I thought that would never happen took place.  I came to the meeting with an open-mind, but a guarded heart.  I thought I knew what would be said, but the words came that I never thought I would hear.  And the healing continues.

When It Was Over - By Sara Groves

"When it was over and they could talk about it
She said there's just one thing I have got to know
What in that moment when you were running so hard and fast
Made you stop and turn for home
He said I always knew you loved me even though I'd broken your heart
I always knew there'd be a place for me to make a brand new start

Oh love wash over a multitude of things
Love wash over a multitude of things
Love wash over a multitude of things
Make us whole

When it was over and they could talk about it
They were sitting on the couch
She said what on earth made you stay here
When you finally figured out what I was all about
He said I always knew you'd do the right thing
Even though it might take some time
She said, Yeah, I felt that and that's probably what saved my life

Oh love wash over a multitude of things
Love wash over a multitude of things
Love wash over a multitude of things
Make us whole

There is a love that never fails
There is a healing that always prevails
There is a hope that whispers a vow
A promise to stay while we're working it out
So come with your love and wash over us"

Sunday, February 14, 2010

In Honor of the Holiday We Do Not Celebrate

We do not celebrate Valentine's Day. We have Christmas, both of our birthdays, and our anniversary all within a few weeks, so we postpone it and give each other "Valentinesish" Day cards on St. Patrick's Day.
But since the baby and I are up visiting my family, and my hubby is stuck at home, I thought I would write this list.
10 random things I love about my husband:
1. When there are good dinner leftovers for lunch and only enough for one of us, he usually lets me have them.
2. The ratio of chick-flick to guy movies we have rented over the years is at least 20:1.
3. He gives me the cherry off of his Andy's sundae. He does not like them, but he could always ask for them to leave it off so as to not get cherry juice on his ice cream.
4. When I ruin dinner, he never complains about it.
5. He uses funny voices and isn't afraid to look goofy when playing with Buddy.
6. He shovels the driveway. I don't think I have ever had to do it.
7. He is a great cook/baker. Probably because he measures things meticulously unlike me.
8. He is a reader. I know he would read more if he had the time. And lately the time he has had to read has been spent reading Dr. Seuss and Mercer Meyer to Buddy.
9. He sacrifices. He works at a not-so-great job, and he has not asked me to go back to work. We could live more comfortably if I did, but he knows I enjoy staying home.
10. He makes me laugh by randomly breaking out into song at various times.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Isn't he the cutest?

I love this face!

Make up your mind already

After some discussion and insight, I decided to stop our family blog and my personal blog and in a way, merge the two with some changes. First of all, I will not be using our son's real name or our last name on here for a variety of reasons. I will refer to "C" by the nickname he has had since we found out he was a boy, "Buddy." This blog will continue to update our loved ones of his growth, milestones, adventures, and funny stories, but it will also include my thoughts on other aspects of my life and world. After some arm twisting, I convinced my dear husband to start his own blog - that way he can post things he wants to share whenever and however he wants.
So here we go! A new chapter on this journey!

The end is near

For a variety of reasons, we are going to stop posting to this blog.  If you would like to know where we are going to start posting, please email me or leave a comment.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Sick

We took Buddy to pediatric urgent care this morning when they opened.  He has been fighting a cold this week, and last night he started having this terrible cough from about 3 AM on.  None of us slept well from that point on - although he did conk back out I think around 5 or 6.
I was so impressed with our pediatric urgent care center.  Very efficient and helpful.  I hate to see what the bill is going to be for such great service, haha!  But Buddy has bronchiolitis (spelling?) which is basically a virus - but not RSV which is good since we have been getting very expensive Synagis shots to prevent that.  He has a breathing treatment to take every 4-6 hours for his wheezing/cough as needed, and we are doing Saline drops to help his nose. We hope we are catching this virus early enough so that it doesn't turn into pneumonia or anything else.  There are very few things as terrible as seeing your child sick/in pain.  It doesn't matter if they are in a NICU or they just bump their head - anytime they are hurt it feels like your heart is ripping into pieces.  At least that is how it feels to me.  Buddy has had a couple of small colds, but this is his first illness that we have had to take him to see a doctor since he has been home.  We are thankful that we have made it this many months without one.
He has been pretty content most of the day, all things considered, but this evening he started to seem a bit miserable again.  He is sleeping now, and I hope he sleeps comfortably tonight.  Poor little guy.  Please pray for a quick and full recovery and that this doesn't turn out to be anything worse.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Tears on my pillow

Hubby suggested trying to let Buddy cry it out awhile tonight because nothing else we have tried is really working.  I was not happy about this suggestion.  After less than 30 minutes - and a few checks in by us - he is sleeping peacefully.  And I still feel guilty.
We have figured out that while we have a decent daily routine (not really schedule because it isn't by the clock), our son does not stick to a routine as well as we had hoped.  So we are just trying to go with the flow, but yet keep our sanity (and get some rest) in the process.
This parenting stuff is tough - and he isn't even a year old yet!  When I figure things out, I am writing a book.  Hopefully it will sell enough to refund me for all the money I spent on books on what to do with Buddy.  I am beginning to think I should have been winging it all of this time!

Friday, February 5, 2010

from the girl who doesn't like snow

Sitting here with Coleridge tucked in my arm. The snow is falling in big puffy flakes, though not a ton of it is really sticking.  It is so pretty, and this moment is wonderful.
I will not worry about Cole sleeping at a time he usually doesn't.  Yesterday was rough.  But today is not.  Praying off and on this morning for Mike's interview in just a bit.  I have peace that no matter what happens with this door, everything will be okay.
Did I mention the snow looks so lovely as it falls to earth?

" 'Come now, let us reason together,' says the LORD:
'though your sins are like scarlet,
   they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red like crimson,
   they shall become like wool.' " Isaiah 1:18 ESV

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Adventures in Mommyhood

Today was an adventure, to say the least.

  • Buddy is still not sleeping great - he was up for the day at 6 this morning (after being up off and on starting at 2 AM)

  • He has an extremely runny nose.

  • I think he may be getting another tooth.

  • He threw up - twice on me (small amounts, but still...) and another time on his Bumbo. His Bumbo got it much worse, but he hasn't been a huge fan of his Bumbo.

  • He hit his head in a horrible way.  I may share the story another day.  I may not.

  • My former-paramedic-brother came over to check out Buddy's bump after I called him crying harder than the baby.

  • I took a day off from keeping my house clean b/c with the weather I doubt anyone is looking at houses.  It was so nice to not vaccuum and to keep the mail and some baby toys on the coffee table.

  • That pretty much sums it up.

  • Pray for me. :)

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

best friends

Ebby and Coleridge are becoming quite good friends.  When Coleridge has been crying/fussing in the middle of the night, Ebby whines with him.  She lets him pet her in his baby way, and she doesn't mind him poking her in the eyes.  The other day Cole was frustrated with tummy-time because he wants to crawl, and he can't yet, but Ebby laid down by him and "cheered him on."  He was able to scoot up just enough to grab her paw, which she let him "hold" for awhile.  Ebby would lick him every waking moment if we would let her (we don't), and Cole becomes more interested in his dog each day.  I didn't catch the cutest moment the other day, but here is a clip of the pair.  (And Ebby is licking her leg in the video, not something else!)







In other news, Cole had his Synagis shot again today.  So far we have had a healthy winter.  Hopefully just one more shot in March.  He weighed in today at 17 lbs 10 oz - up over a pound since last month!  He is 28 1/4 inches long.  We recently had to purchase new carseats because he is less than an inch from being too long for his old one.  I can't believe how big he is getting!
I added a couple of other videos to our youtube.  Click here to see them.