Thursday, September 30, 2010

on the other side of the NICU experience

I am watching someone very close to me go through the NICU experience.  And I can't help but cry as I type and pray as I type because unless you have walked that road, you cannot completely understand the emotional roller coaster.

the relief that your baby is being taken care of by the best possible hands
but the resentment that those hands cannot yet be yours 24/7

the joy that your baby is here, on this earth
but the frustration that he is not yet in your home

the nodding of head when people offer you well-meaning words
but the screaming in your soul as you wonder, "Why us?"

the trips you could now walk blindfolded down the halls of the hospital
as you visit your baby instead of people visiting you

the anticipation as you hear "I think tomorrow is homecoming day"
followed by the disappointment with the words, "not yet" ringing in your ears

And I cry, remembering these moments, and I cry knowing they are experiencing this ride.  If I was able, I would be making a road trip, as she did for me in my NICU days. In place of a hug and a visit, I ask this:
Say a prayer with me please for Baby J, his mama, daddy, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and more - for a homecoming soon and peace in this process.

4 comments:

  1. You have such a compassionate, gracious heart. Praying with you that this precious little one will soon be going home.

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  2. This time of the year always brings back our NICU memories. I thought the other day, "I wonder if that will ever change?" For now, the memories are so poignant....the experience is like none other.
    I'll be praying for your friends.

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  3. my last was in NICU but even then i knew how lucky we were. he had severe hypogylcemia and so they were just fighting to get his sugars up. my beef was they wouldn't let me nurse often enough and that i could see him on schedule, but the hospital even let me stay the extra 2 days (5 days total for both of us) and so we got to go home together. he was 8.6--a GIANT in there.... i knew just looking at tubes and monitors attatched to other little ones that we had it soooooo lucky as hard as it was. so yes, many prayers and tears for your friend.

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Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me.