Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I used to write poetry

I used to write poetry.  I remember writing a notebook full in sixth grade, filled with rhythm and rhyme.  And through my teenage and young adult years I continued to write, though I dabbled more in free verse.
Poems of faith and heartache and hope and memories.

But I don't remember the last time I have really written a poem - or at least finished a poem.
Poetry is vulnerability, and I don't want to be that naked, that exposed any more.

So instead I lie awake at night writing stanzas in my head, rearranging them instead of sleeping, yet too lazy to get up and get my pen, and forgetting the beauty of the words by the time the alarm clock interrupts my dreams.

This is not finished, I know there is more to it - more to edit and revise, but I know that if I do not take the challenge of posting on Thursdays, my words will continue to remain dormant when I am awake.


Please sell our house
and give us health
and peace
and most of all comfort.


A new car,
a new look,
a new job,
all better than before.


And I wonder
when did I start making shopping lists
instead of impassioned pleas
impromptu praise
and most of all
authentic conversation?


When will I once again be led
instead of trying to lead?


15 comments:

  1. this is so raw, so honest. i LOVE it. i love that you're writing your poems down. YES! beautiful. thank you so much for participating, friend.

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  2. Honesty's the best starting place. I appreciate yours :)

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  3. I love the line 'And I wonder when did I start making shopping lists'

    found you through emily's imperfect prose.

    find the pen, write them down.

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  4. Ah, lists instead of conversation. Guilty. Here from Emily's.

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  5. Such a beautiful reflection.

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  6. You are right..poetry is vulnerability..it's like a window to our soul - and we allow people to have a look inside - reflecting our brokenness - but yes - also displaying the riches..
    So - thanks for writing!
    And nice to meet you!
    Claudia

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  7. I've written since I could write. I too, had books filled with rhymes. Poetry is good for the soul! I hope to see more. :)Your right, in a way, it is like being naked and sometimes it's hard for me to put myself out there.

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  8. fabulous.
    thank you for the courage to share .
    life has seasons I guess, but sometimes I have to remember that we only get this one shot at it , you know.

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  9. This is so heart-felt; so real. I have thought those very things recently. We desperately want to sell our house; we have such need of healing. Yet I begin to feel as though my prayers are rote. I want to just bury my head in His lap and pour out my heart - but more than that I want to listen.
    Thank you so much for sharing your heart.

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  10. "When will I once again be led
    instead of trying to lead?"

    Story of my life. I feel your heart.

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  11. Yes, oh yes. My prayers feel so stale these days, or they're only in moments of desperation/want, or far too casually offered up to God. Thanks for sharing, for your vulnerability.

    Julie

    P.S. I thought about sharing a poem (Imperfect Prose), but I chickened out! :-) Good for you. Maybe I'll be bolder next time.

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  12. ah! i was gripped by your first two stanzas. it's so easy to assume that God's plan is to give us nice things rather than to grow our character. this year i've been led into a challenging season of pain so i can learn to have those authentic conversations again.
    i found you through emily. thanks!

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  13. I can relate to this in every way.

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  14. Oh so painfully true, for all of us, we never really prayer but beggars are we. And when we do prayer correctly , we are amazed of the results in our lives and call it a miracle.

    Joanny

    emilys thursday.

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  15. This was beautiful! You are a great writer. :)

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Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me.