Sunday, February 21, 2010

not so great expectations

Today we started a new Andy Stanley series in Sunday School called i-marriage.  The first session was about what desires, hopes, dreams, and visions we had for marriage back in our pre-marriage days, and how they can become expectations once we are married.  There was a whole lot of great things on this today, but I cannot express them that well now. The lesson did give me a lot to think about.  What unfair or unrealistic expectations did I bring to marriage?

  • We would have money - especially after we were done with hubby's college and both of our graduate programs.

  • We would always have a plan for the future.  Preferably a pretty detailed plan.  And that plan would go according to plan. :)

  • Marriage would be fairly easy because we both knew we wanted our marriage to be different than our families of origin.

  • Communication would be as easy and as rewarding as it was while we were long-distance dating.

  • We would have lots of "couple" friends and socialize on a fairly regular basis.

  • Holidays would be celebrated the way I envisioned them/celebrated them.

  • There would be more fun days than regular, mundane days or even difficult days.

I'm sure I have more expectations that I brought with me to marriage, but these are the first that came to mind and the ones I felt comfortable enough to write about for all the world to see.  I am looking forward to the next five weeks so I can learn what I am should do to take the focus off of me and my expectations.  Tough stuff to contemplate today, but I think it is pretty timely.


  1. Marriage is a hard business and, if it is to succeed, an ongoing work in progress. We all go into it thinking that the "happily ever after" comes right after the "I do". Learn from this class, but don't beat yourself up with the findings.

  2. I think I have to agree on all of those. I definitely didn't know what I was getting into when I got married. Of course I loved my husband and I thought we were "perfect" but I thought everything in our lives would be "perfect" as well. And I have found that there truly is no such thing. I can't wait to hear what you learn. I would love to work on myself this way to get rid of my false expectations and look forward to the future.


Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me.