Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Day 34 and a story

*I am thankful today that although Buddy is hungry, he has not been very fussy, at least while I have been visiting.
*I am thankful today that my sweet boy is still "smiling" and making sweet faces at me even though I am not allowed to hold him or feed him.
*I am thankful that when Buddy got blood taken (again) he did not cry - just made one little small noise as if to say, "Ouch!"
*I am thankful for a very sweet nurse who suggested I give my baby a bath. She knew that would be the next best thing to holding him (and I even actually got to hold him for a moment while she changed his bedding).
*I am thankful for the way Buddy snuggled into me for that brief post-bath moment. He smelled so sweet.
*I am praying the next day or two goes quickly and the remaining cultures/labs come back okay so he can eat and continue on the road to recovery which leads him home.
*I am thankful that a lump on my neck that looked suspicious (especially with some bloodwork I had after Buddy was born) turned out okay. The neck ultrasound shows it does not look cancerous or suspicious - just an infection that can be treated with antibiotics. Praise God!
*I am praying that I will be at peace with some other personal news I received the other day. It was hard to hear, but I know God has a plan for my family and for me. And sometimes (okay, most of the time) that plan is not what I envisioned.
*I am SO THANKFUL for my friends and family. I know I write that a lot on here, but I could not get through the ups and downs without them.

And here is a story I saw on another preemie mom's blog. I especially like the last couple of paragraphs.

How Preemie Moms Are Chosen
(by Erma Bombeck )

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?
Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to take notes in a giant ledger....

"Armstrong, Beth: son. Patron Saint: Matthew.
Forrest, Marjorie: daughter. Patron Saint: Celia.
Rutledge, Carrie: twins. Patron Saint: ....give her Gerard; He's used to profanity."

Finally, God passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."

"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness."

The angel gasps, " Selfishness ?! Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says "momma" for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see-- ignorance, cruelty, prejudice-- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her Patron Saint ?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

2 comments:

  1. Great story!! No doubt God chose you carefully to be Buddy's mommy. I had to laugh when I read that he gave the twin mommy Gerard cause he's used to profanity. :D prematurity + twins = "are you sure about this God?!" So very true though....you really do appreciate the littlest accomplishments. And that's a good thing!!

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  2. Very cute story! You are a tough one Amanda, that's for sure!

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