Sunday, June 21, 2009

Day 24 - Father's Day

Besides the pictures in frames for Hubby's office, Buddy gave a very good Father's Day gift. He has been off his oxygen tube all day with very little trouble. While we were there tonight he would dip a little bit once in awhile on his O2 numbers, but he was able to fix it on his own very quickly without us jiggling his chin or chest. He is also up to 18.75 inches and 3 lbs 15 oz. He is now taking 7 mL of food, and they are going to increase with each feeding as long as there aren't problems.
Having Buddy has enabled me to understand God's love for each of us in a new way. I love my son uncondtionally just because he is mine. He does nothing, nor will he ever be able to do anything, to earn my love. In the same way, I know without a doubt that he will never do anything that will make me not love him. As he has been through some rough spots this week, my heart has broken as I observed his pain. I am realizing how much God's heart must break over the pain we experience. Even more, I get just a glimpse of the pain God felt when He watched his only Son suffer, for our behalf.
Buddy must be making others think about spiritual things. I was talking to a very important person in my life who has yet to meet the baby. He said loving Buddy is like loving Jesus. He has yet to meet him, but he loves him; he has yet to meet Jesus, but he loves Him.
God is working a lot in our lives. I have already witnessed some of God's plan for reconcilliation that has happened in many ways because Buddy was born. I know there is still much more to be accomplished. Honestly, there are moments lately when I have said, "I don't want to grow, God. I have grown enough. I have already been through ____________ and ____________ and ______________. This is enough. Pick on someone else." And I will still have these moments when I continue to tell God to please leave me be. But in this moment I am seeing a new glimpse of God's plan for my life. Just a glimpse.

2 comments:

  1. I'm happy for you and proud of you and your growth.

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  2. Beautiful post, Amanda! I'm so proud of you!! I love you bunches and bunches!!! Love, Mom

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