Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Day 33 - More of the Roller Coaster - (Update at bottom)

This morning I went in for my visit with Buddy. He was pretty alert, so the nurse gave him a bottle to try. He ate the whole thing in about 10 minutes without any problems. Then I was able to burp him (which he did quickly) and hold him. He was very alert during all of this.
This afternoon I went back in to visit. When I got there, I knew something was up because the IV machines were by his bed. The nurse approached me to tell me that this morning the found blood in his stool. It wasn't a lot, but they take everything very seriously. It could be something small or this could indicate something major. So they have stopped his feedings (again) and put him back on antibiotics. Both of these things will last at least three days. Buddy's coloring was also a little off this afternoon, and he slept the whole time. I was not able to hold him because of him being hooked up. I dread going back tomorrow and/or Thursday because about that time his little tummy will get hungry, and my sweet happy baby will be very angry (understandably) followed later by very lethargic.
I really hate all of this. I hate being able to do nothing but wait and see. I hate that things go well and I get my hopes up only to have things go back to how they were. I know things could be so much worse. I am thankful that the medical staff is very attentive and on the ball to catch things early. My head understands all of this, but my heart has rarely experienced such pain.
The last 24 hours have been difficult for me because I have had two different doctors appointments - one leaving me disappointed and the other one leaving me a bit worried. I am having something checked out tomorrow at noon, so please pray that it turns out to be no big deal rather than something else.
Please pray for our sweet baby - that the doctors figure out what is wrong and can fix it easily and quickly, that Buddy would be as pain-free as possible, and that he would bounce back from this setback.
Please pray for me - my health concerns and my emotions at this time. I started crying both when the nurse told me what was going on as well as when the OT lady came to talk to me about something unrelated. Pray for my faith as it also feels like it is on a roller coaster ride.
Pray for Hubby - he will be out of town Wednesday night and Thursday for Step 2 in his pursuit of an opportunity for our future.

9:30 PM Update - Two cultures on Buddy's stools have come back negative. The nurse tonight explained that if these cultures were positive it would be pretty bad, and he would have been off feedings for at least 7 days and put in an isolation room. So we are very thankful he does not have these two things (can't remember their names). His belly x-rays came back okay. We still have to wait a couple of more days on all the other cultures, so he will not be eating for awhile.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Day 32

Buddy is one month old today! (But just 34 weeks gestationally) He celebrated by getting a blood transfusion late this morning. His numbers were low, and that may be why he was having a hard time having energy enough to coordinate sucking/swallowing/breathing. We are praying he learns this as soon as he can. He is up to 4 lbs 6 oz - exactly 1 lb more than his birthweight. We are thankful for all of the progress he has made, not only in weight, but also in all of his other little victories. This has been the longest month of my life, but it also feels like he was just born. I can't imagine our life without him.
I was hoping to post a picture of him tonight, but I am tired. It has been a long day for me for a variety of reasons. I am ready to crawl into bed.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Day 30 & Day 31

I didn't update last night because I was pretty tired after a very fun night at my friend's wedding. It was great catching up with some dear college friends, and I hated to leave the fun. CONGRATS DEB AND JARED!
Buddy was supposed to attend the wedding via womb, but instead we had free babysitting (or really expensive baby-sitting) provided by the NICU nurses. I think it was the first night that Hubby and I did not go up for our evening touch time. We did stop in briefly on our way home from the reception.
Buddy is still learning to eat from a bottle - building those cheek/mouth muscles and learning to coordinate sucking, breathing, and swallowing. It is an exhausting thing for such a little guy. The doctor is not allowing us to feed him any more until he gets a little better at eating. This is hard for me because I feel like I miss out on some bonding time. I understand the reasoning, but it doesn't make it easy.
This afternoon when Hubby and I were up after church, Buddy took his whole bottle (I think he's up to 40 mL) in a really good amount of time without too much difficulty. Then he was very alert for most of the time Hubby was holding him. Our little guy loves to look around and take in his surroudings. He is also doing really well responding to/recognizing our voices.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Comparing Pictures and Day 29

So we see some features of ours that are in Buddy. What do you see?

Today Buddy briefly met two of my good college friends who are in town this weekend. I say briefly because right after I took over feeding him his bottle from the nurse, he started choking, which led to him DSATing and turning a bluish color. SCARY! The nurse got him his oxygen, but it was a horrible moment for me. Apparently he was just tuckered out and done eating when I took over, but it still made me feel bad. Luckily, he recovered quickly. He has been sleeping very calmly all afternoon.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Day 28

Buddy had another good day. He was very sleepy during a couple of my visits so we didn't attempt bottle feeding those two times, but apparently last night he took the bottle really well at all of his feedings. He did pretty well the time I was there, and he was alert enough to feed.
It was hard for me to leave him tonight. I wish I could pull up a sleeping bag next to his little bed and stay there.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Day 27

Buddy had two successful bottle feeds with me today - taking almost all of each bottle. The nurse this morning said the doctors gave permission to have him work on his sucking/bottle feeding at each nurse's discretion rather than just once a day. He is so alert, especially at the beginning of this feedings. I love the little sounds and looks he has.
He is up to 4 lbs. 3 oz, and tonight they took him off of his IV fluids. I think they said tomorrow they are going to add calorie supplement to his milk. Again, I ask for prayer for his digestive system. I really don't want him to have another setback and be taken off food again.
The best thing was tonight we were told we can bring clothes for him to wear tomorrow! They put him in a little outfit that actually we all thought looked a bit small. Not small in width, but his little legs barely fit in the pajamas in which the NICU put him. So I am bringing a couple preemie things and newborn things to see which work tomorrow. He looked so cute in pajamas, but I didn't have my camera tonight. :( The nurse took his picture with the NICU camera, but she hasn't printed them yet. Hopefully they will be there tomorrow.
I am still feeling run-down sometimes emotionally and physically. Even though Buddy is doing well, I have moments where I am sad for a variety of reasons. But when I am up at the hospital holding my little boy, my exhaustion and sadness dissolve.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Day 26 - Real Feeding

Yesterday the nurse had me begin pseudo-nursing. The NICU has babies bottle feed before they nurse, but they also allow babies to learn what they are supposed to be doing during cuddle-care/skin-to-skin time. I won't describe the experience on this blog, but having people walk by you at your less-than-modest moments with only 1 screen sheltering you isn't quite how I imagined motherhood.
Tonight we found out that there is "an order" (aka permission) to start feeding Buddy once a day by bottle. This is a huge step! Hubby did the feeding tonight. Buddy took about half of his bottle (10 out of 21 mL), and the rest he didn't take they put in his tube. He has done really well with both new experiences.
We are praying that he continues to digest well. It was when he got to about 1 oz of food that he had issues last time. Please pray with us that he continues to do well so we can get him home with us as soon as possible.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Day 25

Today is day 24. Buddy was very alert this morning when I came to visit. The nurses noted how observant he is. He wants to take everything in. Immediately I remember that this is a sign that my child is gifted! Thanks, Becky R! :)
We had a great morning snuggling - mommy and baby. I also had a good visit with him this afternoon. Buddy continues to be without oxygen. They are trying to get him an isolette again to help keep out some of the noise of the NICU. (Think Vegas casino and those are the noises of the NICU.) They also are doing his feeding through his nose now because it is more comfortable for him, which means we were able to see his whole face! I tried taking pictures tonight, but they did not turn out so great.
Buddy is now up to 4 lbs. 4.02 lbs or 4 lbs 2 oz. We aren't quite sure because we didn't get a great look at the scale. But we know it is over 4 lbs!! We are so excited. He is also up to 17 mL of milk. Please continue to pray that he does well with remembering to breathe and his digestive system handles everything well this time.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Day 24 - Father's Day

Besides the pictures in frames for Hubby's office, Buddy gave a very good Father's Day gift. He has been off his oxygen tube all day with very little trouble. While we were there tonight he would dip a little bit once in awhile on his O2 numbers, but he was able to fix it on his own very quickly without us jiggling his chin or chest. He is also up to 18.75 inches and 3 lbs 15 oz. He is now taking 7 mL of food, and they are going to increase with each feeding as long as there aren't problems.
Having Buddy has enabled me to understand God's love for each of us in a new way. I love my son uncondtionally just because he is mine. He does nothing, nor will he ever be able to do anything, to earn my love. In the same way, I know without a doubt that he will never do anything that will make me not love him. As he has been through some rough spots this week, my heart has broken as I observed his pain. I am realizing how much God's heart must break over the pain we experience. Even more, I get just a glimpse of the pain God felt when He watched his only Son suffer, for our behalf.
Buddy must be making others think about spiritual things. I was talking to a very important person in my life who has yet to meet the baby. He said loving Buddy is like loving Jesus. He has yet to meet him, but he loves him; he has yet to meet Jesus, but he loves Him.
God is working a lot in our lives. I have already witnessed some of God's plan for reconcilliation that has happened in many ways because Buddy was born. I know there is still much more to be accomplished. Honestly, there are moments lately when I have said, "I don't want to grow, God. I have grown enough. I have already been through ____________ and ____________ and ______________. This is enough. Pick on someone else." And I will still have these moments when I continue to tell God to please leave me be. But in this moment I am seeing a new glimpse of God's plan for my life. Just a glimpse.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Day 23

We pretty much spent our Saturday at the hospital. If we weren't there, we were eating or resting. No complaints, just fact. Buddy was alert when Hubby was up there this morning (I "slept in" for the first time I think since he was born.) The rest of the day we went up together, and Buddy is starting to seem a little more like himself again. Tonight at 5:00 they started his feedings again. He is just getting 5 mL, but it is something. We are praying he tolerates the feedings and has no more stomach/digestive issues.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Day 22

Today we were lucky to have lots of visits with our little guy. Hubby was able to go during his lunch break and got off work a little early and visited then, and I had my regular visits. Buddy was very lethargic during our several visits throughout the day. When I went in the afternoon they had just finished putting in a new pic line, and I was told he would be getting 7 days worth of antibiotic, and the nurse hadn't heard anything about restarting his feeding. This information was very disheartening in addition to the fact that the baby hadn't been very responsive lately - he barely would open his eyes during our visits, whereas last week he was much more interactive with us.
Tonight when we went up to the hospital the doctor told us that they took Buddy off of his antibiotics and that they may restart feeding tomorrow. He explained that "babies are precious; life is precious" so they take every precaution they can. Buddy had his eyes open a little bit, and seemed a little more responsive than he has the last couple of days. We are hoping things continue to improve. A very good piece of news is that although he has been on the IV and not food, he is now up to 3 lbs. 14 oz. We are thankful he has gained weight this week.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Day 21

Buddy slept through most of our visits today. He seemed lethargic, which I guess is better than being angry because of the hunger. It is sad for me to see him not be very interactive, but he did seem content enough. They did not feed him today, but it may start again tomorrow. We are hoping this is the case. The feedings will start out very small, and then just like before they will gradually work him up - it goes just a milliliter at a time.
Hubby and I each got a chance to hold our precious boy today. We are looking forward to the day when he doesn't seem quite so fragile and when he doesn't have so many things poking into him/out of him to make holding even easier.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Day 20

I love roller coasters at theme parks. The faster, the higher, the loopier (is that a word?) the better. I do not love the roller coaster ride I have been on the last couple of days, though I know it could be so much worse, and I am thankful that it is not as bad as others' rides.
This morning a very angry Buddy greeted me in the NICU. The nurse on duty kept saying to him, "Why are you angry?" Well, I do not have a medical degree, but I think he is angry because he has not had any food for over a day, he has a hood over his head which limits his squirming, and he has a bunch of tubes and wires coming out of him. I let my baby know that he has a right to be crabby. It was the most heart-wrenching thing to sit there for about 45 minutes watching him cry and being unable to do anything to comfort him. I just tried talking to him and touching his little hand or arm. I cried as he cried.
He was still fussy during my afternoon visit and Hubby's visit after work, but not as angry as the morning. He was sleeping/resting during most of these visits.
Tonight we went up, and I was relieved to see one of the sweetest nurses in charge of our son tonight. She is very grandmotherly. He was a bit angry at the beginning of the visit, but she talked so nicely to him the whole time. His oxygen hood is off, so we will see if he is able to continue to just breathe room air again. His IVs in his head and foot had issues today, so now he has one in his hand, and he has this big wrap thing around it. So far the cultures are negative for infection (which is good), but tomorrow is day 3 of those cultures. The nurse said his looping looks like it is gone as far as she and the afternoon nurse can tell from the outside, and she mentioned that they may try feeding again tomorrow. We shall see.
We are praying that he has good rest tonight, and that his cultures turn out okay. We are also praying that he has excellent breathing with minimal or zero DSATs. Finally we are praying that the looping is gone, and whatever the issue there was will be resolved so he can eat again if it is safe to do so.
We are amazed at the facebook messages, emails, phone calls and comments on this blog that we get reminding us that people all over the country and even world are praying for, rooting for, and caring for Buddy and for us. God continues to be with us in this journey - handling our questions, frustrations, complaints, and thanksgivings, and providing people to help us and encourage us through the highs and lows.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Day 19

Just a brief update before we go back up to the hospital.

Buddy's looping on his stomach happens sometimes with premature babies. They have sent bloodwork/cultures to the lab to see if he has an infection. This could take up to 3 days. For now, they have him on antibiotics, and his feedings have had to stop. I know that they did an x-ray this morning, and I am assuming that turned out okay because the doctor and nurse have not mentioned anything was wrong on those. We basically have to wait for the lab results before we know what we are dealing with. He has an IV right now in his head (apparently this is a normal place for babies), he had a blood transfusion today, and he will get his picline tomorrow. The doctor informed us that this is serious, but Buddy is doing okay. The doctor also said they are being proactive in treating what may be an infection so they do not have to treat a sicker baby later. He mentioned a couple of potential scenarios, one of which included the phrase "spinal tap" - but we are praying that the antibiotics work or that Buddy was just not ready to handle his feedings since he still should be in the womb for about 8 more weeks and backing up a bit cures whatever is wrong.
Buddy was a bit fussy and pretty active/alert this afternoon when we visited. The nurse informed us this is a good thing because if he felt really bad he wouldn't be so active/responsive.
Thank you again for praying for our family. If there is anything else to report after tonight's visit I will try to post tonight or tomorrow morning.

10:15 PM UPDATE:
X-ray tonight showed there is still looping on stomach or intestines (can't remember which). He had a pretty significant DSAT while we were there - in the 40s. He turned a grayish color for a little bit (which apparently is not as bad as blue, but it isn't a good color, like pink.) Praying Buddy remembers to breathe tonight and everything with his digestive system turns out okay soon. Still waiting on the cultures.

6 AM phone call

It is never a good thing to get a phone call at 6 AM - especially when your baby is in the NICU. Last night was an excellent night with Buddy when we went up to visit around the 9:00 hour. He wasn't D-SATing, we gave him a sponge bath, he was switched to a different bed, Hubby had holding time, and he was a pretty happy baby (once that bath was done).
Hubby answered the phone this morning so all of this information is what I gathered from him:
-Buddy was DSATing a lot last night in the 40s and 50s (which is low). He now has an oxygen bubble on his head (I will check out what this is when I can get up to the hospital in a bit after the shift-change).
- He is having digestion issues. He is having little looping show up on his belly.
-With both of these things, they are taking him off his feedings for the next several days, and they are giving him antibiotics. We will see if the antibiotics do the trick or if there is something else going on.
Please pray that Buddy recovers quickly from whatever is hurting him.
I am off to get ready to get to the hospital. I can't get in until 7 because of the shift change. Pray for us, too. Our little guy was doing so well, so this is upsetting and discouraging.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Day 18

I would like to think of myself as a spontaneous person. I wavered on my college decision until just a few weeks before the start of the school year. After a phone interview, I committed to my first teaching job across the country having never even been to the town. I met my husband online, we got engaged just days after meeting in person (we had talked for a few months), and eloped a few months later, though we had spent approximately 3 weeks in person together.

Today, however, I finally had somewhat of a routine, and I LOVED it. Woke up, went to the hospital, said good-bye to my mom (again), came home and did some chores, lunch, hospital visit which included time to hold Buddy, home again, hospital again, home again, dinner (thanks B family!), a little down time, and then we will go back to the hospital, then sleep. I feel somewhat human on a routine. I hope it goes as well tomorrow.
Buddy had his nasal cannula removed last night or this morning, so he is breathing the same air as we breathe. We are now able to see some more of his face, and it's pretty cute. He is still having issues with D-SATing (forgetting to breathe), but this is completely "normal" considering he is just 32 weeks gestationally. He is also 18.5 inches long, which means he has grown 2 inches in 2 weeks!

He is getting more active. We see his eyes more frequently when we visit. When I called in Sunday morning on the way to church, the nurse said she put him in a snuggli (not a Snuggie) because he was scooting around his bed and ended up with his face pressed against the portal that our hands go through! Apparently he wants out of there! At noon today I was once again able to hold my little guy, and he made such cute baby noises both while he was looking around the NICU and while he was falling asleep.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Day 17

Buddy is up to 3 lbs. 9 oz. Tonight they will measure his length and his head circumference. Apparently they do that every Sunday night. His milk is being supplemented with extra calories, and the nurse said they upped his calories. This should help him get some of that baby fat he is lacking and get him looking more like a baby and less like an old man, which is how premature babies look at first. I think he has already started looking more like a baby, so I am anxious to see him put on more weight and get some rolls on those skinny little legs of his. The nurse also told us the next thing is to get him to be able to stay off his oxygen, which is currently given to him through a nasal cannula (spelling?). He doesn't require much oxygen through his nose, but every time they try taking that away he doesn't like it very much. He is really just 32 weeks now if he was still in the womb.

I am battling guilty feelings as a mom. I feel bad that I can't be up there 24/7. I feel bad that today I physically had to take a nap and get caught up on some rest instead of visiting him this afternoon a second time. I worry that we won't bond and that he'll think the nurses are his mommy. He responds when I talk to him when I am up there, and it seems like he knows I am at least someone important - but does he know I am momma? I find it strange that I decided not to go back to work in the fall because I wanted to be the one to care for him - not baby-sitters or a daycare - and here I am having other people and machines care for my baby because that is what he needs right now. At the NICU parent group, I heard the leader give parent quote that he/she felt like he/she had been put in a blender, and that is how I feel emotionally this weekend. I do not want to go the "Why me, God?" and "This isn't fair!" place that I so naturally run to when difficult things happen, but I find myself tempted to pack up my bags and travel there because although it is a miserable location, it is familiar, and familiarity offers some comfort.

Instead, I will try to focus on the good things. Buddy is making progress every day. His breathing episodes are getting better. He is healthy considering how young he is. We have had some really good nurses lately. Buddy has had several visitors lately, and he is loved and prayed for by many. We have been encouraged and blessed by phone calls, gifts, emails, and kind words. We cannot say thank you enough to our church family and my work family for their prayers and support. I am learning to rely on God and others in new ways. I am learning in ways that I never imagined how much each day of life is a gift not an entitlement.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Day 16

Sometimes I feel like I am running out of steam by about 6:00. For example, today I was up at 7:00, did what I needed to do here at home, was off to the hospital for an hour at 7:45, ate breakfast and ran with my mom to get household items we needed (paper towels, napkins, etc.). Came home to take care of some things here, ate lunch, took a brief nap, got some things done for Buddy, went back to the hospital, met my family for dinner, came back to play a game of cards, sent "the grandparents" to visit the baby, finishing up some laundry with Hubby, and we are about to go back up to the hospital. I could crawl into bed right now and sleep for about 3 days straight, but I won't. I don't want to miss time with my little one or skip the things I need to do for him.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Day 15

Buddy is 2 weeks old today - almost to the exact moment I am typing this entry.
"Meemaw" and "Grampy" are both in town this weekend. I was able to hold Buddy for the first time in a few days(due to a variety of circumstances), and Hubby was able to do skin-to-skin time again tonight. We have the same day nurse we have had for a couple of days now, and I really like her. The night nurse is a new face to me, but I really liked the impression I had of her tonight. He continues to have some breathing issues today, but they aren't as frequent, and they aren't as severe.

Day 14

I was too tired to post last night, so I will post this morning about yesterday.
Buddy is up to 3 lbs. 8 oz. He had fewer breathing episodes. He is still having them, but it looks to be less frequently. We have had another really good day nurse the last few days.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Day 13

Today was a much better day. My cousins from IL/IA drove several hours yesterday to come visit me for a day and a half and to meet the baby. It has been so good laughing with them over old memories and new stories. They were able to come up and see Buddy, and we had a great nurse today! Buddy is still having trouble with forgetting to breathe. He was alert when Hubby visited at lunch time as well as when I visited and changed his diaper this afternoon. He stayed awake and alert for several minutes this afternoon and looked really happy. It makes my heart glad to see him either resting comfortably or alert and content. My mom comes back tomorrow, and my dad comes on Friday, so it will be good to see them both and have them around for a little while again.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Day 12

I am posting a little earlier than usual because I am exhausted and have a feeling I will crash when we get home from the hospital tonight.
I have two important prayer requests. #1 - Buddy is having a problem which is apparently common for premature babies. He is forgetting to breathe. It is called D-SAT or V-SAT, I can't remember. When this happens, it is very scary for me as the momma to watch. Please pray that God would touch his body and the parts that help him remember to breathe since he is no longer in the womb and having momma breathe for him. #2 - We have had really great nurses up until yesterday afternoon. In the last 24 hours we have had two bad nurses - bad in different ways. I already wrote about yesteryday's. The other one from today seems competent medically but does not deal with parents well. I don't know how to explain the situation on a blog. Please pray that we get back the nurses that we loved when they are working, and that when they are not working that we get some other ones that we love just as much as our favorites. Pray that above all Buddy would be cared for and given the attention he deserves.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Day 11

So we have loved our NICU nurses. They treat Buddy with such tender loving care. Tonight we had one that I did not like. At all. She came in at 3 when I was there, and usually I get to hold Buddy at 3, but I did not while she was there. Then we came back for our usual 8:30ish-10ish time, and again, we did not get to hold him. Not only that but he had trouble breathing a few times while we were there, and she did not seem all that concerned to me, the momma. She also had some other things that I would label under "incompetent." She let us know that she is normally not in the NICU - just with the newborns. So as a school teacher I know that sometimes I luck out and get a great sub, but normally I get some random person that has been pulled off the street to teach my class. "Father Time", "Guy Who Sleeps," "Woman Who Ignores Plans and Has Kids Make Paper Airplanes." In a classroom, I can deal with a not-so-great sub. In the NICU I cannot. We just talked a couple weeks ago in Sunday school about being an advocate for your children - and here is my chance to start. I was very emotional leaving, and finally pulled myself together to call the supervisor. I made sure to mention how much we loved our other nurses, but then specificallly told the supervisor my concerns. She was very nice, said she would keep an eye on this person, and that a NICU nurse would be watching Buddy in about an hour at the shift change.
I realized tonight how much I HATE our son being in the hospital. I know that he needs the care they provide, and like I said, other than this evening we have been very happy with how things are going up there. Tonight I just wish I could be the person to provide everything my baby needs, and it breaks my heart to be here instead of there. I am running on very little sleep today, so I have to be home to get caught up on my rest, otherwise I would be up there on the floor in a sleeping bag. :)

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Day 10

Buddy had another good day. He is back up to his birth weight, and he is up to 19 mL of food. We continue to pray that his stomach/digestive system willl be able to handle this.
We have been blessed with some really good nurses. One we've had the last 3-4 days had mentioned that Buddy is so sweet she just wants to put him in her pocket. So today she did, and she gave us the picture!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Day 9

It was a good day. Both Hubby and I got cuddle time (skin-to-skin contact) with Buddy. We have to spread out these times to not overstimulate him and to make sure he gets plenty of rest. Mike changed a dirty diaper like a champ - apparently we missed out on a messier one.
Buddy has a good reputation in the NICU. We've had lots of nurses tell us how sweet he is. We are proud of him already!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Day 8

One week ago today I was in labor - probably still at an eight. I seemed to hang out there for awhile.
Tonight we received excellent news. Buddy's brain scan showed no bleeding and his brain looks normal. Praise God! In other exciting news, he went #2 without needing the medicine they were going to give him. This is another indication the feedings are going well.
Hubby was able to hold him and have skin-to-skin time for almost an hour. We are sure Buddy realized Daddy's skin is a lot harrier than Mommy's! :)

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Day 7

My mom left this morning after we went to visit Buddy. It was hard to say goodbye, even though I know she will be back soon. I spent the rest of the morning napping. Then I did some laundry, dishes, and cleaned the cleaner of the two bathrooms. It felt good to do something normal.
At 4:00 I was able to have skin to skin contact while I held Buddy. Hubby held up his little container of food. All of this I think was to simulate nursing. Tomorrow evening if all goes well Hubby will get to hold his son for the first time. I am very excited to see this.
Tomorrow morning Buddy is supposed to have a scan to see if there is any brain bleeding. I thought they were scanning other things, but apparently it is just the brain. Please pray for good results with this.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Day 6 - A Good Day!

Today was a very eventful day for Buddy.
First of all, when I arrived this morning he was moved from his isolation room to the area of the NICU with the other babies. His sunglasses were off because his skin is looking good, and he doesn't need the light treatment any more for jaundice.
This afternoon when we got there he was moving quite a bit, and he opened his eyes. Even though his eyes are blue right now, the expression of his eyes look so much like Hubby. Mom and I were both like, "He looks like M right now!" We also watched him get a breathing treatment, which consisted of his back being thumped to get anything out of his lungs.
When Hubby and I came for our nighttime visit, Buddy had received TWO feedings, which he has handled well. His stomach emptied like it was supposed to, and so far no complications. Please pray that continues to go well. The nurse asked if we wanted to stick around till 9:30ish so that I could hold him when they did his 9:30/10:00 routine. So of course we stayed. Hubby was able to take Buddy's temperature tonight and had his first experience changing a diaper. Buddy tried to squirt him during the diaper change, but hubby was able to cover up the spray with a wet wipe. We all got a good laugh about the joke Buddy played on Daddy. :)
Tonight I was able to hold my baby for about 15 mintues. What an ordeal just to hold him. Get me a gown and a chair, get him wrapped up all warm in a blanket, make sure all his cords/tubes are going to reach, get settled.
What an amazing feeling! I got choked up, which made my nose run, which hubby had to grab the tissue for me since I didn't have free hand nor did I want to get those germs on the baby. Hubby took lots of pictures and the nurse took one of our family together. I will try to upload those tomorrow for those of you who don't have facebook.
We are so thankful for a good day today. We cherish every moment, every milestone. We know that it is the prayers of our friends and family that are helping our little guy with his health and is giving us the ability to have energy to get through each day, to help us remain calm and not crabby, and to rely on God, each other, and our amazing support system.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Day 5

Things are about the same as yesterday. Buddy continues to breathe without the ventilator. He had a blood transfusion today. We are praying to get through the last few hours of day 4 without complications because that will reduce his chances of having a brain bleed. Day 7 is his scan.
We are slowly getting on a routine, but we are exhausted. It is difficult to see our baby hooked up to wires and machines, and it is heart-wrenchng to leave him behind when we go home, especially at night. I worry each time the house phone rings that it is the hospital calling. We are doing our best to trust God in all of this, but trust takes energy. We continue to ask for your prayers for our family - we need them and we appreciate them.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Day 4

Buddy was able to come of his breathing tube today. He now has oxygen in a tube in his nose instead of his throat. It is hard work for him to breathe, but he is doing pretty well. His cultures have come back well, so they are also going to take him off antibiotics.
Hubby started his new job today so pray for that transition.