Sunday, May 24, 2009

Past The Wishing

In my living room are some empty boxes and an empty tote, a couple of boxes and a tote with school things to be sorted through and put away. In our computer room is a box from the garage of various things from my Yuma days which I have pretty much shredded now (so now the box is almost empty). I think there may be another box or stack of things for me to go through in that room. Last week M cleaned out a ton of things in our garage - gave away or threw away a lot of stuff and brought some things in for me to look through one more time. He moved all of my boxes and things from my classroom. He also repacked some of my school things that I have brought home so that they store better. What a guy! I feel like the last couple of weeks have been packing and unpacking. And if you know me I am not a fan of either. I am handling the process much better than I thought I would. Much better than any of my other seasons of packing/unpacking.
I haven't done much this weekend because I have just been exhausted from the end of school. However, I hope to accomplish getting the remaining items sorted and in their proper places in the very near future.
Friday afternoon felt so strange. I turned in my keys. There is nothing left in my classroom that is mine. And it isn't my classroom any more. I said good-bye to the people I saw amidst the chaos of the last day of school. I got choked up at a couple of points. I will still be in southwest Missouri for an unknown length of time, so I know I will see my co-workers again - that made the good-byes seem even stranger to me because I am not moving somewhere new yet.
I drove home from my last day of work listening to an old Sara Groves cd - Past the Wishing. I specifically remember listenig to this song when I moved out to Yuma, knowing absolultely no one. I think Sara Groves music has been a part of every high and low and transition of my life since I learned of her in college. It seemed appropriate to drive home to this song.

I’m standing at the foot of this mountain
Wishing so bad that I could touch that sky
But in the time it takes to make my wish
I never take a step and I never try

I wish that I were closer to Jesus
But not enough to get me out of bed
For an early morning prayer before the
Rushes of my life take me instead

I'm past the wishing
Past the wishing
Past the wishing

I'm gazing in these deep well waters
Where the pennies of my life have all been cast
I’ve decided I am going to save my money
To do something that lasts

You've shown me my man of Macedonia
You're calling me further on
And I'm tired of saying it's a nice idea
I wish it could be done

I don't wish that I could go I am going
I don't wish that I could be I am being
I don't wish that I could do it I am doing
By the grace of God I am doing

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