Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Journey Begins

Since so many of our family and friends live around the country, Hubby and I thought we would start a baby blog. That way those who want to know what's going on and how we're doing can have easy access. If this goes well, we will continue blogging beyond the pregnancy. So here we go. I have a feeling that this first entry might be long. ...

Early last summer we were very surprised to learn that we were pregnant. I remember calling Mwhile he was in Dr. O's class (I think) and leaving a message for him to call me. He called me back, and I freaked out. "If I had something important to tell you, would you want to know now or when you got home." He wanted to know now, but I kept saying, "No, I'll wait." Finally I told him over the phone that I had just taken a test and it was positive. Even though it was a shock, it didn't take very long for us to get excited about this new member of our family. However, most of you know, that at nine weeks I miscarried our first baby. I can honestly say that has been the worst thing I have ever been through - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. If I think about it too long, I still feel hurt and confused. Because of my faith, I know that all things work together for good for those who love Him, but I don't believe that it means that the things working together were good things. I have seen good things come out of the situation, but even know there are still moments when I ask "Why?", and I believe God can handle that.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving morning we were at my mom's. I took a test (and later hid the test in the garbage) that had a pretty decent positive line. Yay for us! We were not telling anyone this early, but knowing we were expecting once again helped me get through the holiday that I was truthfully dreading. My mom (what is it with mother's intuition?) asked later that weekend, "Are you pregnant?" And I told her we were pretty sure that we were, but we weren't telling anyone.

The next couple of weeks were anxious ones for me. What would happen this time? Could I handle this either way it turned out? Mid-December M was in class. I had just heard from my dr's office that day that my blood levels were looking good, but that night it seemed like I might be miscarrying. Hubby dashed home from class. We didn't go to the er because the complications didn't get worse; they actually got less, but the next morning I got in to see my dr. He thought things seemed okay, but he labeled me a "high risk pregnancy" due to my history and the fact that what was happening to me was called a "threatened abortion." (Side note, I hate that phrase. I would prefer to call it a "threatened miscarriage.") He sent me to a high-risk ultra sound, and there we saw our little grain of rice that is baby and heard the heartbeat! What an amazing sound (once I figured out which sound was the heartbeat)! I've been to the doctor a couple other times now and everything looks/sounds good. We originally were told Aug. 10 for a due date, but this last Tuesday our doctor moved us from 9 weeks to 10 weeks based on picking up the heartbeat on the doppler.

We told some people around Christmas that we are pregnant. We let our Sunday school class know early on because they were such a support system this summer, and they have continued to pray for us this time around. I was hoping to wait until the very end of the first trimester to tell everyone else, but I had so many people at work asking my co-teacher or me if I was pregnant, that I put a sign-up in the copy room on Friday that simply said, "The rumors are true. - Amanda" So then I had to tell the world via facebook before people I actually wanted to know before work knew found out. Ah, the drama/joys of working with women, haha.

Everyone asks me constantly, "How are you feeling?" I feel terrible, but I know that is a good thing. I spent my time in Illinois over Christmas on my mom's couch. I had one Whitey's run and one La Flama run and no Happy Joe's taco pizza. That is how bad I felt. If I am not at work, I am pretty much on my couch. Evenings are the worst, and I am sick almost every evening (though just one episode each night). Again, I am thankful in a weird sort of way because the sickness means things are going how they should be going in my body. I am ready for the 2nd trimester. Rumor is that it is the good trimester. I am ready to eat the foods I like again, and I am ready to not be grossed out by almost every smell my nose can pick up.
If you finished reading this entry, you are amazing. I promise the next entry will not be so long!

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